[RYoung]

Very nice conversational and enthusiastic tone to this Bill! If you want any critique I would say there are 3 slurred words in there which maybe were done on purpose, I know because I have done the same thing with lists. It’s like a stutter where you extend a word to sound as though your thinking as you speak, it actually creates more realism; “a designer” and “I think” are two I noticed but maybe it was on purpose, enjoyed that though along with my grandson who is a Leggo enthusiast!

[RYoung]

sounds very good mostly, I did notice a little hesitation in turning the script tone more positive when you talk about Aetna partnering, maybe you want a enthusiastic change there?

[RYoung]

Thanks Bill appreciate your listening!

[RYoung]

Thanks for your feedback on this much appreciated. Good points all, since there’s no video I like to keep the pauses minimal but your right. The background music is available under copyright free music online and I usually search under the topic name, (History Channel), there are a lot of them just be careful about downloading scams and Edge Studio has a list under resources as well.

[RYoung]

Good job on this documentary narration work. You sound similar to a local narrator I used to hear in San Francisco who had a show on weekly for destinations to visit with a nature theme. As far as your delivery I like the flow and also your excitement to the read, my only suggestion would be to try and relax to come across as more intimate to your listener as they say so they feel you are just talking to them. Hope that helps and keep up the great work!

[RYoung]

history Channel Script is a good practice for lists and variations to make them interesting!
However don’t count on great script writing like this, unfortunately most online audition scripts aren’t very exciting.

History Channel

If you lived before our time, who would you be?
Would you fight your brother for the rights of another? Who would you be?
Would you find new dreams or create wonders?
What if you could choose from a 1,000 yesterdays; a 1,000 lives, when the past was today and the new took your breath away.
Who would you be? What would you feel? How would you live? Who would you love?
Remembering every generation before us;
Remembering for generations to come.
The History Channel. Where the past comes alive.

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[RYoung]

Thanks Daniel for your comments. I had listened to your recording of Delta and it sounds more whimsical as mine has a more serious tone. It could work either way. Which words to highlight can be subjective there are a lot of catchphrases in this script. Be careful of the word distant it should have a different tone or inflection because it’s repeated. This is the turn in the script now their stating their solution so you could change tone to drive home your point. Hope that helps.

[RYoung]

Hi Bill, nice to see you back on the “new” forum! Clinically speaking you usually don’t miss a beat in your reads and others can learn from that as far as inflections and highlighting the right words. I guess tone is the only issue, might help to liven it up and roller coaster,(more up and down in inflecting without sounding sing-song) hope that helps!
Rich Young

[RYoung]

I submitted this audition dry last week, not sure of the status, so much competition out there!

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[RYoung]

Vincent, You have a good resonant voice and somewhat natural or conversational delivery style. I would just work on highlighted words that either come out as un-natural sounding or staccato; beyond and next normal were two that didn’t seem to work. Nice work on this overall!

[Author]

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