RYoung
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Nice delivery and friendly style to this commercial Bill. It’s also smooth and well connected not a trace of any what they call disjointed type delivery. Now if you haven’t already go get some d**n jobs!
Mitch, I did listen to both of you recordings the second one seem to flow better and sound more from the heart. The first one not so much it was slightly disjointed maybe? Hope that helps and thanks for sharing that!
Hi Mitch, I appreciate your compliments and the way you analyze reads very helpful! I wanted to leave a comment for you on your motel 6 read you and done recently, however it’s a few pages back and you may not see it and unfortunately there’s no notification that a comment is coming in. Of the old forum you would get an email that someone had commented on one of your reads but too bad I guess good things don’t last forever. Anyway I enjoyed your connectivity and flow with the motel 6 and the conversational style delivery the only suggestion I would have is the ending where you kind of revert back to an announcer style with motel 6 as you could keep the same folksy conversational tone for the last line anyway great work on that and hope to hear more from you!
This is a popular practice script, kinda country feel so I tried to give it a more motivational tone, any thoughts are welcome!
4H
It began with the seed of an idea.
In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture.
But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance.
Luckily, kids were.
By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root.
And grew.
Grew kids who are confident and strong.
Who are curious enough to question
And capable enough to find the answer.
Who stick to a job until the job gets done.
Who know how to work with others
And how to lead.
4/H has kept right on growing.
Out of the farms and into the towns
From the suburbs to the cities
Anywhere curiosity roams
And confidence thrives.
Anywhere technology can be advanced
And achievement is valued.
Anywhere positive change is possible
And giving back moves entire communities forward.
When you think about it, it makes sense that we began with farming.
After all,
True leaders aren’t born.
They’re grown.
4/H GROWS HEREI’m gonna regret this, But here it is Bil-bo!
Disney character intro
Howdy folks, I’m Ray the firefly, how y’all doing. Don’t make me light my b**t now! Now folks, I’d like to introduce you to my beautiful wife, there she is the most beautiful firefly of all, Evangeline. Look how she lights up the sky. Hey there Ray, mind if I but in for a minute to say hi? Don’t see why not, everyone else is going to in a couple of seconds. Hi everyone, hi there poo boy, was going to give my introduction, how are you anyway? I’m good I wish I had some honey, don’t look now but here comes eeore. Hi every body, Eeore, why the long face there buddy? I lost my tail again. I’ll help you find it this time but don’t try to loose it again would ya buddy. Hi everyone, oh look it’s Mickey, how are you Mickey? I’m fine, how are you I’m good, say uhhh where’s Minnie? She is is right here, hi everyone, hiya Minnie great to see ya , oh me too. Looks like this is going to be a luvy dovey fest, so folks let’s get this how on the road.Tongue twister to truck commercial now that’s a good range Nice work Bill! Hey have you tried Ray the Firefly sounds like it might be up your alley I recorded it sometime back but not sure if I want to post it.
Showoff! A+ work on this Bill! Meditation work? I’d take work reading a canned soup label. Have you tried or listened to ASMR? I have a demo of motivational work, this could be considered motivational as well as meditation, performance was awesome, I would get rid of the word unfathomable it can’t be said conversationally without much difficulty,hope that helps.
Sorry I think I replied to the wrong recording this one was the one I meant to reply to. The one above about home Depot seems good as well in a natural conversational style although you may want to change tone or get a little more enthusiastic for the ending hope that helps!
