[RYoung]

Hi Wes, sorry but the proximity to the mic is to close like a pa system sitting next to the speakers, ouch! Your voice is resonate and delivery is ok but not much emotion? Hope that helps.

[RYoung]

Technically reads are very well done. They are however slightly staccato. I would try to smooth them out slightly to connect the thoughts better, hope that helps and great work on this!

[RYoung]

Thanks for listening Mitch.

[RYoung]

I think you were doing well, but the script was short. Try a longer read and improvise to get a realistic style maybe? Another thing is enunciation and listening as you record with headphones, if you are using them try to record without them it helps more with delivery for me. Hope that helps!

[RYoung]

This is an example of a PSA with some emotion and caring attitude. Any thought are welcome, thanks.

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[RYoung]

Mitch, first off thanks for the critique on my tomorrow read. I think I edited it out too much with without leaving some thoughtful pauses but anyway to your work! If I were you coach I would say I’d like you to connect more to the script as in telling someone about the garden center and then sarcastically mentioning the compost which is a turn in the script and would help finish it. The cancer read you probably just need to get more sympathetic you’re talking about a deadly cancer and begging someone to get screened for it right? Keep it up and thanks for sharing your work!
Oh and by the way I’ll try to put up something to shoot an example of a PSA the cancer read you did.

[RYoung]

This was an audition I had done recently more like a narration or poem. Thanks for any comments.

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[RYoung]

In listening to your delivery, not the acoustics, there is a natural quality to your delivery however almost to natural? I would try to connect a bit more to the script to give a more realistic deliver and slow down especially in “Spotify” Thanks for sharing that!

[RYoung]

This was taken from the script of a movie about Columbus. Trying or practicing narration to go along with a storyboard! Any thoughts are welcome. Oh and this is the first part thats why it ends so abruptly, Thanks.

All sit beside her. TREASURER SANCHEZ takes a document
and starts to read aloud.

On screen the words: GRANADA – SPAIN – 1500

SANCHEZ
Your Majesty would wish to know the true facts concerning the island of
Hispanola, our first settlement in the New World, and the activities
there of your servant, Christopher Columbus, Admiral of the Ocean Sea,
Governor of that Island. You will remember with what hopes and promises
he beguiled us — the truth is that he now presides over a state
of chaos, degradation and madness beyond imagining.

SANCHEZ punctuates each word carefully.

SANCHEZ
From the beginning, Columbus proved himself incapable of managing the
affairs of the island. He appointed his brothers to important positions,
at once injuring the pride and dignity of the nobles who had gone
with him. He promised to build a city, the City of Isabel, named
after Your Majesty. What he actually built was nothing but a
collection of huts, and that in the wrong place, for all of it was
easily swept away by rain and mud. Is that not so, Brother Buyl?

The PRIEST nods.

BROTHER BUYL
Yes, Your Honor.

SANCHEZ
He promised gold. Not finding the
easy quantities he promised,
Columbus commanded each Indian to
pay an annual tribute. Most being
unable to, they were barbarously
punished, against the express wish
of Your Christian Majesties…

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[RYoung]

Excellent natural style delivery, the Ben and Jerry’s one I would just say to go deeper into the character of the fairy? Nice work and keep it up!

[Author]

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