RYoung

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  • in reply to: Feedback Forum #58067
    RYoung
    Participant

    Hi, Listened to most of your 3 scripts and they sound very clinical if that’s what your looking to accomplish? Good clear enunciation, pacing and clarity, however that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re believable though. I would suggest a little more excitement about the subject matter, good work and thanks for sharing that.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #58064
    RYoung
    Participant

    Some narration work with an excerpt from Mary Shelly’s “frankenstein” I realize I mispronounced “precipitous”.
    “I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.

    This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.” (16.19-20)

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by RYoung.
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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #58004
    RYoung
    Participant

    Brian, great work on these, good inflections although some seem a bit contrived or maybe too upward in inflection on sentence ending? Only other thought on improvement would be like so many of us have, is glottal stops or I call squeezing of words which come out distorted ie; manufacturers in script 2 and complex in first sentence of script 3, hope that helps and good luck.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57959
    RYoung
    Participant

    Superluke, I like your enthusiasm and characters. You may want to extend the Mario character a little longer so we can hear more of it. Be sure to edit or fix your explosives lol before you submit, nice work and thanks for sharing!

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57958
    RYoung
    Participant

    Great read and enthusiasm on this. I think you delivery sounded believable as well. only critique would be the last sentence, which is important, your inflection went down on “loves”, though easy fix, I would just highlight family and keep loves even, if that makes sense.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57956
    RYoung
    Participant

    Hi, just going back on some auditions for clean-up and add to my demo reels, your thoughts are welcome!

    Are some people just “naturals”? Child prodigies miraculously gifted in ways we aren’t? Once in a lifetime talents? We see their performance and assume we could never achieve that. Because they must have something we don’t. Or they’re simply better than us. Or smarter. Or faster.
    Or could it be that they are just like us-except they know a secret. The secret to unleashing an untapped but limitless power. Greatest of all time power. World changing power.
    It’s a power that is in fact already in you-just waiting to be ignited. A power to become exceptional in whatever you dare to dream.

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57517
    RYoung
    Participant

    Very good clarity and pace on this one. The piano music was nice and complimented or accentuated the flow pretty well. Just a couple things,one I wouldn’t have highlighted “matter” sounds off key, then on the ending not much emphasis was placed on the brand name Nike. Maybe just change the tone on the last sentence with Nike to be a little more uplifting, overall nice work on this!

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57513
    RYoung
    Participant

    Thanks for the comments much appreciated.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57466
    RYoung
    Participant

    Sounds great to me arwilliamsvo, good reality type delivery and enthusiasm! I would tick the volume down one notch thru editing, however minor that maybe though, sounding great!

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #57464
    RYoung
    Participant

    Hi all, just practicing for more additions to demo reel, thanks for listening!

    Travelocity.com
    Congratulations! You’ve successfully planned another vacation. You’ve called the airlines, the hotels, the rental car places and you’ve just hung up the phone. So brace yourself – the nagging doubt, the one that says, did I get a good deal on this vacation? There’s a better way to book travel. Travelocity.com. You’ll have over 700 airlines, over 45,000 hotels, and over 50 rental car companies all at your fingertips. You’re in control. Even look at a picture of your hotel room, or choose your airline seat. Enjoy vacation, and save your nagging doubt for your auto-mechanic. Travelocity.com…go virtually anywhere.

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