RCampos
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Thanks Mike-Control, Appreciate your notes. I will work on a more casual read. I’ve noticed I do have a tendency to slip into a more formal delivery. All the best,
RCHi Grace,
Thanks so much for the helpful feedback. I do think I need to loosen up a bit and put a little more variation into my read. I appreciate your thoughts and will incorporate into my practicing. All the best,
RCHi Mike,
Freshii
Fun read on this. I think you heat your stride on “So, what’s in your custom bowl?” That’s when I hear you being more playful with it. It might help to add that same attitude to the beginning of the VO. The middle sounds great. At the end, you have nice energy on “Eat, Energize” but I think you could use a touch more energy. When I wrote those notes, I had not heard version 2 of Freshii. I think that version improved on the stuff I mentioned above – nice job!Denali’s is an unusual word and I think you need to hit it a little harder and slow it down a touch to make sure people hear it clearly. Same goes for “view moose up close” and “marvel at Glacier Bay.” These are the candies in the candy store, so I think you can sell them a bit more. I like the way you showcase Holland America and I start to feel the glamour of the trip as you talk about the view from the rail cars. There are spots where I think your read is right on – hitting just the right casual tone, and then other spots where you get more formal. Very nice ending on: The difference is Holland America.
If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your feedback on my VO – Cosmos. Uploaded today, 11-11-22, a little after 9pm Eastern. Thank you!
RCamposHi Grace,
I like #2 best. I think it’s the most natural and most friendly. In this one you have an upward inflection on name, which sounds friendly. You also put a little bit of “concern” into “call you back as soon as we can,” which makes it sound like you really will make the effort to call ASAP.
Other minor notes: on the word “long” – it sounds like you hang on the “g” a bit longer than usual. Maybe this is an effort to end the word clearly, but I don’t think you need as much emphasis.
And finally, when you say “hold,” – I don’t hear the “l” very well. Very nice job all around, though.
If you have a moment, I would greatly appreciate your feedback on my “Cosmos” VO – just posted at about 9:05pm Eastern time. Thanks!Hi Voice Over Artists!
I would much appreciate your feedback on my pace and tone in this VO. I’m working on varying my pitch a bit more and on being more conversational. This is recorded on my cell phone so not looking for tech feedback yet.
All the best, R CamposHey Joekett,
Just listened to Merceded-C class. I really like your full voice for this ad. It matches the subject very nicely. Here are just a few minor notes:
1. I hear you differentiating these features: “blue tooth,” “sirius satellite radio” and “surround sound system”. But – I think you could embellish even more. It’s like this car is designed to go to the moon.
2. I think when you finish saying “surround sound system,” you should still have a question mark in your tone (you go down in tone on “system”, so it sounds more declarative than inquisitive).
3. You do a similar thing on “speeds” – you abandon the questioning tone, which is part of what is driving this VO
I really like your ending line. You deliver that so nicely, with just a hint of humor. Makes me want a Benz.
I would very much appreciate your comments on my Costa Rica VO, posted 10-27 at 7:57, or my Cool Jazz VO, posted on 10-25.
Thanks very much and all the best,
R
