nettipo1
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Hi VO Community, I am working on different emotions with these two reads. Thank you for any feedback you can provide!
Pampers Swaddlers
From the moment you met, you wanted to surround them in comfort and protection.
That’s why Pampers Swaddlers is the number one choice of hospitals,
to wrap your baby in blanket-like softness so all they feel is love.
Pampers Swaddlers.Cadillac SRX V8
As a little girl you wanted a pony.
How about 320 horses?
Your ride begins with a sunroof so generous, even second-row passengers can bask in the sun.
And with a commanding V8, you and six friends are in for one feisty gallop.
Cadillac SRX V8.Hi again – just wanted to add to my note that the sassy almost sarcastic quality to your voice–never lose it! It’s a unique quality that you have, and works well in lots of commercials.
Hi! I think both reads are conversational, but they have a bit of gusto that may be too strong for these reads. Maybe it’s the volume–I think there are ways to have a sassy/sarcastic quality to your voice without increasing the volume. The “no sweat” in the first read kind of sounded kind of awkward to me, and I wasn’t sure who you were in the read (a fellow passenger? a flight attendant? neither?)
Hello! I could pick up slight differences among the three reads, but there’s still room to make them even more distinct. The Black Diamond Equipment read has a conversational quality to it, but I think this could be brought out more. I almost think you might want to try to make the Black Diamond read more plain, in a way, and be more selective with the words you emphasize. For instance, “Since 1957” doesn’t need to have any emphasis at all, but once it is emphasized, it competes with the other words being emphasized. I’m impressed with how you can read the technical terms in the third read!
HI Erik, I like the energy and pace of the three reads, but in a way it sounds like you are trying to make every word distinct, and you may be pushing on the words a bit too much. You may want to see how you would sound if you were saying these words to someone next to you. Still, I like the energy and clarity of your voice, which is an advantage you have with narration for sure.
Hi Bil-Bo! I loved both reads! Your voice is so delightfully unique and is so fun to listen to! Not only that, but you deliver the right nuances that give the right meaning to the right words/phrases. I was tickled by the different sound effects in your Justin Boots read. Thank you for posting your work.
Hello! Your voice is really nice and clear, and energy and overall pacing is good–but, you might want to vary the pacing and inflection more to make your read more natural. It also sounds like you end your sentences at the same or similar pitch level (listen to the first and second sentences), which gives it a pattern that makes it sound less natural. So perhaps hold a stronger image in your mind of one person you are talking to, maybe create a lead-in phrase or phrases as if you were just chatting with them, and then roll right into delivering the script, and see if it sounds different. Keep having fun with it!
Hello! Your voice is pleasant and friendly and clear…very suitable for this kind of script. The tone, energy level, and pacing are good, but I think the commercial portion of the script needs to be more differentiated from the telephony part, and more conversational. To test the conversational part, I usually ask myself if it sounds like someone next to me in line at a store talking to me, or me talking to them… Since it’s almost like an aside that calls your attention to something else for a brief moment, you might want consider using a slightly different energy or pacing with the commercial part; again, to differentiate from the telephony part a little.
Hi suecat, this is a great take 2! I definitely noticed more emotion behind your words. I would try delivering the last three sentences in a different emotion…right now it sounds almost sassy, and perhaps it should be more resolute (I don’t know if this is the right word). I agree with TimDKietzman that your tempo was a bit faster than needed. Keeping in mind that your voice is supporting the visuals on screen might help you slow down. Good job, though! Keep working on your craft!
