[mkell755]

Hi John, these are all GREAT! Really good pacing, flow and enunciation for all of them. Your voice is really nice, clear and deep and is very pleasant to hear. My favorite of these three was Beethoven – you really took your time to tell the story and I wanted to hear more! The only comment I would have on the Mayan script is the pronunciation of “2012”. I wonder if it should be said “twenty-twelve” or “two-thousand and twelve” as you did. You stayed consistent throughout, so it’s just more of a question on my end in general. I have very little criticism for you, only that this is really good stuff and I want to hear an audiobook soon!!! I’ve been listening to you these last few months and you really sound polished. Very good!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Shaun, good work! I like the variation in tone, pace and delivery between the 3 scripts, way to vary it up. I’m only hearing sound in my left ear for all three, could be my setup but usually I hear equally in both ears through my earphones, might be something to check (although I don’t know how one would fix this).
Amex: Pace and tone were good.
Jack: Nice accent, slower pace and chill vibe, this was my favorite for you! “taxes” sounded like “Texas” to me, but I think you did a good job of getting into the accent, and it could be argued that your pronunciation kept in character.
Sesame: Good energy and enthusiasm for this one. You might try some variation in tone for the list of 3 things that starts with “…whirl on rides,”. Also, I know this is just for practice, but the word “biggest was missed in this script, just something to watch for that every word is said. Overall very good!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Logan, nice work! I like your deep, clear and articulate voice.
Comlongon: Interesting emphasis on several words throughout. It seemed a little choppy throughout, you might try smoothing it out a bit with not as many pauses. For a completely different take, it sounds like you might be able to push a Scottish or character voice accent to see how it sounds.
Roll20: Good pacing on this one. “…new mobile app!” sounded more like “…new mobile app.”, with a downward tone at the end instead of a more excited exclamation. You are excited about the new mobile app, but it does not come across that way.
Ripple: The variation in tone is good, but it sounds a little robotic for the script. The exclamation points in this script also end with a downward tone, you might try a more upbeat ending for those, which will translate to projecting more energy and positivity about the product. Hopefully that helps! Keep it up.

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Christophe, good job!
Company website: Sounded nice and clear, very good pacing and very genre-appropriate for your voice. This was my favorite for you of the 3, fell the most authentic.
Jazz: I liked the variation in tone throughout the script, but the pace felt a little bit rushed to me. It seems like this script has several periods throughout to make the performer slow down and savor the sentences for the listener. If music was playing behind it, just think of all the different jazz riffs that would be playing; I think it could use a little more deliberate pace.
Amelia: Very nice tone, pace and clarity. I wanted to hear more about her story. Overall very good!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi all! I’m looking for feedback to this narration script for my upcoming narration demo. Let me know what you think, thank you!

Mary

Born in 1847, at the very end of the industrial revolution, Thomas Edison was part of a new wave of scientists and inventors that lit the way into the modern era. His famed research lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey hosted the development of innovations that still undergird much of our industrial and consumer infrastructure, including the phonograph (which recorded and played sound), motion pictures and the light bulb. His work there was so important that the town in which Menlo Park was located now bears his name.

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[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Oktober10! Lightening up sounds good a good approach, I agree that bee keeping should be fun, at least it sounds fun to me. Thanks again! 🙂

Mary

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Evette! I’m glad that it sounds like something that would get your attention. Agree too with varying the tone when describing changing paths in later life, that’s very helpful. Thanks!

Mary

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Nettipo! I will work on being more conversational, and that totally makes sense about varying the tone at the pivot point of the script – changing to painting later in life, good observation. Thanks again!

Mary

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback Oktober10! I’m glad the pace and tone sounded appropriate and informative. Thanks!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi all! I’m looking for some feedback to this script for my upcoming narration demo. Please let me know what you think. I’m trying for friendly / conversational. Thanks!

Mary

Henri Cartier-Bresson was a French humanist photographer born in 1908. He is considered a master of candid photography, viewing the craft as an avenue to capture a decisive moment. He was one of the earliest photographers to use 35mm film and shot almost exclusively in black and white. Though his large body of work, which included a variety of street photography, was impressive, he turned his attention solely to painting later in life.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by mkell755. Reason: Type on description of script

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