Logan DFD
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Hoping to get some feedback on my natural delivery. Does this sound like a commercial?
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How do you get clean?
At RiseWell we believe oral hygiene should be natural and safe, without nasty toxins.
Our natural mineral flavours will have you feeling fresh all day.
Your teeth will not only feel healthier but also look visibly whiter.
RiseWell mineral toothpaste – as effective as a chemical clean, without nasty toxins.
Time for a mineral clean, time to RiseWell.I’m working on my natural delivery for my Demo coming up. Do these reads sound good? Do they sound like commercials?
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Eat like there’s no tomorrow…
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Eat like there’s no tomorrowSounds great! You have the right tone for the kind of commercial you’re reading. The mouth sounds you make in the recording might be solved with drinking more water, maybe? I think the mouth sounds occur when the mouth is dry. Also, try to avoid coffee or any other caffeinated drink, as well as honey. On one of the last lines, where you say “eyes on the road”, you put the emphasis on the word “on”, where I think it would be better to stress the word “road” instead. Otherwise, great work!
Great work! You have a good voice!
Don’t have any feedback on the Carnation-Essentials read or the Fresh read, they sound great! The Cosmos read might need more pitch variation. I notice because I struggle with it too. The Star Wars read was good too. The only pointer I have on that one is that, knowing the full scene, the line needs to be delivered a bit more desperate and crazy.
That’s all! Keep up the good work!
I’m working on a natural delivery, does this sound like a commercial?
RiseWell Toothpaste
How do you get clean?
At RiseWell we believe oral hygiene should be natural and safe, without nasty toxins.
Our natural mineral flavours will have you feeling fresh all day.
Your teeth will not only feel healthier but also look visibly whiter.
RiseWell mineral toothpaste – as effective as a chemical clean, without nasty toxins.
Time for a mineral clean, time to RiseWell.Good reads! They’re nice and clear. As for the breathy-ness of your recordings, you could do what I suggested to JNMullett, where you make space around each breath for easy cutting (if you have an editing software, that is). If you can’t edit your recordings, something you could do is to experiment with training your body to take quiet breaths (maybe raising the soft palette in the back of your mouth when you breathe?). Or you could turn your head away when you breathe to keep the microphone from picking it up as much.
In the second read, you had a few mouth sounds. To treat that, I’d say drink a LOT of water. Hydration is really important for Voice Over work.
Great work, and keep it up!
The recording sounds like a commercial! The only problem is that there are a lot of strange, choppy pauses, like the kind after editing the audio. I’m assuming it’s to get rid of the breaths? If you want to do that, I suggest that after saying your line you pause, breathe, pause again, and read the next line. That way, the breaths will be easier to remove. Still, great work!
Sounds pretty good! You’re reading it nice and clearly. Something you might want to consider is ending your sentences with an upward swoop, maybe? That way your sentences don’t always end the same way.
Great job!
I’m trying to vary my pitch to get a more natural read. Does this sound like it could be in a commercial? I’d appreciate some good feedback!
RiseWell Toothpaste
How do you get clean?
At RiseWell we believe oral hygiene should be natural and safe, without nasty toxins.
Our natural mineral flavours will have you feeling fresh all day.
Your teeth will not only feel healthier but also look visibly whiter.
RiseWell mineral toothpaste – as effective as a chemical clean, without nasty toxins.
Time for a mineral clean, time to RiseWell.I’m trying to improve my pitch variation to try and overcome my monotone voice. Is my pitch range good, or too little? Thanks!
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