John Trape
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Hi Shmuel,
Thank you very much indeed for your extremely constructive, thoughtful, and encouraging feedback. I greatly appreciate the time you took to do that. And, of course, your observations and advice are precisely what I need.
Respectfully,
John
Hello everyone,
I have these three narration scripts that I have recorded for my forthcoming coaching session and would very much appreciate any and all feedback.
Voice for the City of Toronto
You know that term “We’re all in this together?” Well, it’s true.
While some of us might be working in government and others not, we’re actually all in the same boat. You see, we’re citizens as well.
We all want the same thing. A city that works for everyone. As fast and efficient and as relevant as can be. Thriving, accessible, and inclusive.Recycling
I don’t know about you, but I like our planet a lot! And one of the easiest ways we can help protect the Earth is by recycling. That’s where instead of throwing things like plastic in the trash, you put them in a special bin so they go to a kind of factory to be reused. You’ve probably recycled things like plastic bottles before. There might even be a recycling bin in the room you’re in right now! Recycling is important because it helps keep the Earth clean, especially from trash made of plastic.Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snowboarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.Thank you,
John
Hi Tina,
I very much enjoyed listening to all three reads. You just sounded so cheery throughout, but it was #2 that really caught my attention. I think that it was the way in which you interpreted this particular script that made it so, so natural and conversational. For example, your slight pause and then change of tone as you read “the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex,” was, I thought, very effective. It made me smile, because it was unexpected. Perhaps, more importantly, that is what made the advert, and your voice, stick with me.
Regards,
John
Hi Mary,
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to both readings, but I felt that the second reading was the one that seemed the more natural, the more convincing. It was almost as if you were addressing an audience that you could actually see. Sounds a little bizarre, I am sure, but it seemed that there was more of a connection between you and an audience in your second reading and that that translated into a more natural flow, with emphasis falling where your instincts told you, and suggestion of a script in your hands pushed to one side.
Thank you for sharing.
John
Hi Tina,
I liked your warm, enthusiastic tone – made me feel welcome from the very beginning. I imagined looking at (your) screen and following the instructions – pacing very comfortable for me. I feel that it was the sincerity in your voice that really made the reading so compelling.
Thank you for sharing.
John
Hi Aylin,
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your reads and appreciating the personal touch that you gave to each one. I felt that you genuinely believed in the value of each of the products that you were promoting. Further, you enunciate so clearly. Having said that, I did feel that the ‘t’ sound was slightly suppressed in “it” (“the best in it” 0.08 secs); “White” (“with Crest 3D White 0.09 secs); and “Crest” (“Crest. Healthy, beautiful,… 0.14 secs) in the third recording, but maybe that is me just being picky and not knowing what I am talking about.
Thank you again for sharing.
Regards,
John
Hi Akingsley,
I really enjoyed your read. As I listened to your recording, I found myself following the narrator into the bank while everyday banking was going on all around. Picking up on Mary’s feedback above, actually imagining myself inside a branch of that bank would make it much easier for me to really bring out the natural, conversational tone that I might want.
Thank you for sharing your reading.
Regards,
John
Hi Toque,
I very much enjoyed listening to both scripts and appreciating the difference in tone that you applied to each one. Both readings made me feel that you were fully connected with, respectively, Old Tomorrow Brewers and RBC and, therefore, that you had visualized both scripts – a technique that my coach is impressing on me.
Regards,
John
Hi Mary,
Well, that sounds authentic and conversational to me! I felt that your lead-in worked perfectly. Actually, choosing the appropriate lead-in probably requires the same level of attention as interpretation of the script.
Regards,
John
Hi Akingsley,
Thank you very much for your positive and constructive feedback. My coach zeroed in on your observation re interest in the source material, and knew exactly what you meant. He is getting me to really focus on visualizing what is going on in a script, such that I can bring life to the words, thereby better interpreting a passage.
So, thank you again for your feedback,
Regards,
John
