[jennbowers]

I agree with Brian that there should be a shift in tone. I feel the first person part needs to convey the confidence/empowerment that color gives you. Your tone is great in the second half.

[jennbowers]

Hi everyone! This is my first submission and I’d some feedback about my pace, as I tend to read a little fast, and if the tone is anywhere in the ballpark! The first one is a biography narration and the second is a commercial. Thank you!

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