Jbach

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  • in reply to: Feedback Forum #64910
    Jbach
    Participant

    Great read. Seemed very believable and not overselling it.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64902
    Jbach
    Participant

    This one is a political spot. Its not my worldview; just challenging myself. Any feedback would be welcome.

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64875
    Jbach
    Participant

    Good tone. It is conversational but also with a touch of authority.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64869
    Jbach
    Participant

    I’m not hearing any issues. Sounds good to me.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64867
    Jbach
    Participant

    Hi. Nice work. On the first one, I’m wondering how you feel about the man bun. Since its the first thing you what happens just before you say that? Do you have lead in?
    On the second one, I’d play with being even more conversational than you already are. Who is the one person you’re talking to?
    On the third, the first line seems slightly rushed. I’d emphasize breakfast and Wall Street Journal more. Again, what’s happening before your first line?

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64860
    Jbach
    Participant

    Great feedback. Thanks! I’m coaching with David Goldberg. Second session coming up.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64820
    Jbach
    Participant

    Hi Dante. Great voice. On the first one it flows nicely. I hear a hint of maybe a New York accent on the word exercise. Thats not a bad thing of course. It just seemed slightly different from the overall neutral accent you were using. The second one: perfect. Wouldn’t touch it. The third seems to get a little clunky on “athletes, stars and trainers”. Like it was edited with “stars and trainers” added after. At any rate that part seems like it could flow a little more, give each one their moment in the spotlight so to speak.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64818
    Jbach
    Participant

    Hi. Any feedback welcome on this homework assignment. Thanks!

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64815
    Jbach
    Participant

    Hi folks. please share your feedback on the following. Doing some homework. Thanks!

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #64647
    Jbach
    Participant

    Toque, this is a great spot for you. Love your vocal quality. You might play around with using more of your lower register in places if it feels natural. I heard hints of it and it might add more variety to the story-telling.

Viewing 10 replies - 1 through 10 (of 11 total)