JackStansbury
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Nice job! I think you hit a nice tone for this read and the tempo feels perfect. I think one area you could work on with this read would be a smoother delivery. There are parts of this read that sound a bit staccato (“We put a lot. of stress. on our feet.”, “Arch fit distributes pressure. across the arch…”) In normal conversation (which seems to be the kind of vibe this script is going for) we don’t really do this – we think in complete phrases and move through them smoothly while speaking, so you could try doing some reads where instead of performing in front of the mic you try to talk to it the same way you’d talk to a friend about your sore feet and these sick shoes that feel amazing!!!
Nice job! You have a really nice, clear vocal quality that sounds great for narration and the tempo of this read is great! The one thing I want to give feedback on is that it sounds like you’re thinking really hard about using the proper inflection patterns while you read this and it’s hurting the authenticity of your read. The first sentence there is the best example of this. Stressing the important bits is good but it’s important to do so in moderation
Hello! Uploading my commercial coaching homework reads 🙂 Any feedback is welcome and appreciated!
Script 1 – Jack Daniels
Giving the right gift is easy. Just follow these simple steps.
First, pick up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey.
Now, the size ya choose depends on who it’s for. Say, your boss, a friend or a brother.Second, get some wrapping paper and ribbon. It’s kinda like wrappin’ a tennis racket. They’re gonna know what it is, but that’s part of the charm.
Script 2 – Kerry Gold
It’s more than luck that brings people together. KerryGold, pure Irish butter. Made with milk from grass-fed cows that graze on the lush pastures of Ireland
Script 3 – Durex
This is Bob. Bob is an idiot. Bob makes mistakes. A lot of them. Oh, Bob. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but despite all his faults, even an idiot like Bob knows he needs protection. Durex. Smart.
