Tina
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Great read and nice pacing. The only suggestion I have is going down in pitch on the word factory. Right now it goes up and I think you want it more of a statement.
Nice read! I like the added music. If I’m being nitpicky I’d say the second sentence, “fixed or replaced” sounds like an afterthought because it sounds like you are ending the sentence on maintained and not listing 3 things. Otherwise, great read!
Hey all! Bumping my read from March 8th to see if I can get some critique on it! It’s a little further down the page. Thanks so much! Really enjoy listening to you all.
TinaYou have great emotion on this read and I can tell that you are working on the diction. I’d say even more enunciation on the word freshy(it’s a hard word to say clearly). I think you may have to say the second syllable a little slower, like fresh-eee, like let it hang there just a tiny bit longer. I’d say try it a couple of times super-overenunciating each word, even if you have to do it slower, and listen to yourself so you can gauge how much you have to do. I look silly all the time. 🙂 It’s almost there, though!
Tina
Hey Ed!
I agree with Tom in regards to giving more direction to the words “That Look”, basically just having a stronger opinion of what you think that look is (pure delight, ecstasy, etc). I also agree with visualizing what you see a bit more. You have a great resonance to your voice and definitely have the relaxing vibe down.
This may just be more personal preference, but I think after you say the first line “There are over a thousand families that need our help” (i.e. the problem), the second line could use more of a feeling of hope and be a little more uplifting. It sounds a little somber, which is perfect for the first line but maybe there’s a way to lighten up the next line since it’s a great thing they’re offering, while still getting the message across. I hope this is helpful!
Tina
That was a really fun read! I love all the sound effects! You have a great voice and my only suggestion is building in some pauses at the beginning as it read a little fast and streamed together. You did it great towards the end.
hi Jay,
Your voice is a really good fit for the Blackbridge Motors read and I think you know what the scripts are looking for. Same for your second script. You have good natural instincts. I’m drawing a blank for constructive criticism on these. Good work!
