chas82
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Hi all !—- I was browsing the Commercial library and came across this movie script. Not exactly a Commercial but it resonated with me because I think my voice is a good match for the tone of this script. Interested in all feedback and especially pacing, emphasis of the key words and pitch (could have gone a little lower). Thanks
MOVIE SCRIPT – Lord of the Rings – Opening Monologue
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
I just started training for my Commercial demo and my homework is to post 1-2 reads daily in addition to what I do offline on my own. Here’s the first. I’m also beginning to create my recording environment and I know the quality of this take can be much better.
Boys & Girls Club
Put this card in the hands of a child and there’ll be no room for a gun. A needle. Or a knife. It’s only a piece of paper, but that little membership card has helped keep millions of kids off drugs, out of gangs and in school. To learn how you can help the Boys & Girls Clubs, call 1-800-854-Club. Boys & Girls Clubs of America. The POSITIVE Place For Kids.
Very nice modulation and pacing start to finish. All of the lists were especially well done, each sounding different than the others. I’m always amazed at how just a little variance in inflection can produce great results. Good job sir !
I agree with what RYoung shared. I would also suggest giving a little more emphasis to “never” in the first sentence because this word defines the challenge. You emphasized it well in the second sentence. I would also change the emphasis onto the verbs “give” and “play” in the third and fourth sentences and deemphasize “or “ at the start of the sentences. It was good overall; just a few tweaks. I also liked your sound quality very much. I’m sure the demo creation went well.
