[carlakissane]

Hi all, I’m practicing for my commercial demo, and would appreciate your feedback! Thanks in advance, Carla

Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by carlakissane. Reason: Forgot to include the script!

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[carlakissane]

Hi there, I love your wry tone, and obvious love for the subject matter! I would say keep it moving as much as you can, there’s no need to slow down to make sure we understand the twenty one crimp bottle cap- because you help us out on the very next line! I think you could experiment going even further with a kind of ‘no-nonsense’ read, and find out who this character is, that really loves sam adams beer! Great work.

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