artyom123
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Please give me your opinion on my pacing, and connection to these scripts:
Script 1:
Let’s take a look behind the scenes at some of the ways we strive to be the safest place to work while we fulfil your order.
From the start of a package’s journey, we use a range of specialized equipment to safely enhance our operations.
Packages enter our buildings through loading docks. To make these critical areas safer, our team created automated, digital cockpits to track trailers. Before anyone approaches to start unloading, we ensure they are properly docked and stationaryScript 2:
Operating efficiently in today’s global economy requires greater transparency and visibility than ever before.And the old linear supply chain simply isn’t keeping up.
At TrackX, we provide enterprise scalable solutions to deliver better tracing, tracking and visibility throughout global supply chains.
The TrackX platform captures real-time event-driven data leading companies trust to identify inefficiencies, prove sustainability, and satisfy ESG requirements.
TrackX – Revolutionizing the Supply Chain for a More Sustainable World
Find out more at TrackX.com
Looking for my connection, tone and pacing for this commercial script:
Introducing lemon pepper chicken, from ice age meals.
Oh yeah…
Made using only the highest-quality ingredients, and preserved using nothing but ice – cold – air.
Delivered frozen, from our kitchen, to your door.
So, try us out, and taste the love.
looking for my emotional connection and pacing for this script:
“This message is a reminder, not an explanation. This is the statement of an artisan among other artisans, one who knows the quality of their own work, and the work of those around them. It comes from a place of confidence and established relationship, but never arrogance.”
Thanks all!
please comment on my read for Shopify:
Grow your sales organically without compromising stellar customer service.
Increase your average order value with Plus One, an easy-to-use plug-in that installs seamlessly into your Shopify account in under 2 minutes.
Plus One recommends similar products that complement their cart or offer best-value items before checkout.
Like how you go to your favorite café and order coffee but it’s better with a chocolate croissant.
That’s an easy addition and you just boosted your ticket.would like feedback on following read based on sounding like a everyday person and emotional connection to script.
Did you know that with a simple majority vote, our City Council could ban natural gas and even hydroelectric power in Spokane? Think about what that would mean to you, your family, your home, your energy rates and your finances. And if you’re still not convinced that it’s the worst idea in the history of…well, ideas, visit avistaemployeepac.com. Then protect Spokane’s clean, abundant energy resources by voting YES on Proposition 1. Sponsored by…
Looking for emotional connection and point of view of this script:
Oxy is boldly pursuing a lower-carbon future. To get there, we must zero in. Zero in together to advance every part of our business today. Zero in with purpose to develop the answers we will need tomorrow. Zero in on zero. Oxy. Zero in.
Thanks all.
Looking for feedback on this script, it may sound because the read called for a 30 sec slot. looking for emotional connection, story telling.. what I can improve. I made 3 takes, Thank you all..
I heard the call
And I moved with a purpose.
When the objective is in front of me, my path is clear.
And out here, it’s no different. My mission has changed, but my purpose remains.
American Military University was founded by a veteran.
The faculty knows where I’m coming from, and where I want to go.
They made the mission and they’ve got my 6—
From enrollment to beyond graduation.
The classes and degrees are built around outcomes—giving graduates career relevant knowledge and skills.
After service, we start a new mission. With AMU, that mission is clear.
It’s time to start your next mission.really nice tone, really captivating and friendly. this might sound little weird but I heard some jaw tension. try some vocal warmups.. edge has a great vocal health class. I recommend lowering the jaw little more through your reads. I’d love to hear your submissions !
really great work, hard to comment on improvements. the only thing I can think of is maybe adding a story telling element to the end of the reads- like your building up to a solution… and there it is.
