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Hi Kbridges!
Thanks for sharing your read! I really like your energy during the read! I can tell you are smiling and really want to help people understand why the right food is important. A couple of things I noticed. You have essentially the same tone throughout your read. I’d look for a little tone variety as you are reading through it. I’d also working on speeding it up a little bit. I think the pace is just a little bit slow and could use a bit of a boost. Finally, as you are reading your list “play, dance, run…” try hitting a bit more variety in the list so it doesn’t sound like you are reading the list. (I got the same feedback yesterday too!).

Hope this helps a bit!

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Hi Mary!
Really enjoyed your read and the pace of it! One recommendation I have is that some of your sentences prior to the commas can sound a bit like a question. For instance this line “With retail partners like Walmart…” your pitch is down-up… and perhaps making it more of a confident statement – some pitch and tone on both syllables for Walmart, may make it feel more powerful. Really enjoy listening to your voice!
-Amber

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Thank you so much Rogue1 (great handle!). I totally understand what you are saying. This is great feedback! Now if I can just figure out how to splice it I’ll cut in the new section!

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Hello! This is my first post so be kind! I’m just doing some practicing and looking for some honest feedback. I’ve pulled this Lego commercial from the script library. Appreciate any feedback.

“My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do, LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.”

Thanks,
Amber

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