[nettipo1]

Hi Don,
Your manly voice is wonderful for these kinds of spots – but I think you probably knew that! 🙂 Both spots had great energy, and I would suggest slowing down the pace in certain parts, so that words you emphasize aren’t rushed or blended together. For Royal Purple Max, make sure to clarify the product name a teensy bit more so that “Max” doesn’t blend in with the word right after it “atomizer.” Try not to rush through the next few words, “high-performance,” “high-concentrated.” Since this copy has so many descriptive words, you may want to be more selective of which words you actually emphasize so that they stand out more. Make sure the tag line doesn’t get mixed into the list of benefits mentioned before it, by changing how you say the start of that sentence as well as removing the pause in the middle of it.