[whataboutsmee]

Hey all – here’s a narration script I would like to get some feedback on if possible. Below is the script. They’re looking for a “bold and deep voice”.

Great flavor starts with a perfectly trim cut of meat.
It’s born from a well-balanced brine – one with real sugar.
It’s nurtured by a slow cook in a small batch. We’re talking very slow. 12 hours slow.
It thrives in smoke – real smoke, from real hardwood chips.
And that smoke better be timed just right.

Flavor is an experience that comes from experience,
5 generations worth.
You get it from passionate people who know a lot, and who want to know a lot more.
And when dedicated folks make mouthwateringly great flavored meat, it’s something we just have to share.

Flavor for family,
Flavor for friends,
From us.

Tastes good, right?

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[whataboutsmee]

Firstly, your voice is amazing for this type of read. Calm and crystal clear. But I echo the statements of the previous 2 posters that it sounds a LITTLE too read-y and not quite conversational enough. When you say “the hard way”, it sounds like there should be more, but the sentence ends and the next one begins. When you say “the best country barley”, try to actually imagine that you believe its the best country barley you’ve ever experienced and you’re trying to convince someone who’s a little reluctant to believe you of that fact.

Pacing is great. The recording itself sounds great, too.

[whataboutsmee]

Hey Bev,

I thought your pacing was good and I liked the tone. Up and down in the right places and it sounded good for the piece, too. One possible suggestion would be to try to keep an eye on your soft “s” sounds. Like when you say “sketch” in the first piece is distinctly different from how you pronounced the “s” in “selection” earlier in the piece, with the former being a bit raspier. I have the same problem (if you can really even call it that), and have found that minding where my tongue rests in relation to the back of my top teeth can reduce this a bit.

As far as the recording quality is concerned, there is quite a bit of mouth-popping going on. Not sure if you’re using a pop filter or not, but if not that could help. Also make sure you have a steady supply of water nearby if you don’t already. If you already do/have both of those, you might consider looking into some plugins for you DAW that could manage that, as well.

Overall, I thought you sounded great from an acting POV. Great work!

Thanks,
Devon

[whataboutsmee]

Practicing sounding calmer, more inviting, and retrospective. Mostly just trying to focus on more effectively conveying non-humor emotions in my voice. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Script:

Things that never get old; enjoying the warm crackle of a fire under a clear sky full of stars. Stepping out of your tent in the morning and taking a deep breath of fresh cool, air. And that first sip of the perfect cup of coffee to start your day. Gevalia Coffee – Discover your perfect cup.

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