weiss-richmond
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Hi Forum! I’m doing some practice copy and I’d be glad for feedback on this commercial read. I don’t have a home setup yet, so I’m looking more for input on the performance than on the technical aspects of the recording. Thanks in advance!
Hi Toria, I’m curious what it would do to try really trying to impact / change the person you’re speaking to with your words. Is it possible to do that without losing your high status? Right now I think that this queen doesn’t seem to really care if the person listening heeds her warning, and I think it could help energize the text and raise the stakes if it did matter to her a bit more.
Also, this is a little thing, but I think it might sound higher status to say ‘ON-clave’ rather than ‘EN-clave’.
I hope some of this is useful!
Hi Nikka, I really appreciate the energy you’re bringing to this read and can tell you connect with the material. I think picturing a particular person and really speaking to them might help you with being conversational. With regard to glottal stops, one trick I learned a long time ago in a theatre context is to put a teeny ‘h’ before the vowel, just to get your air moving. Full disclosure: I’m a newbie to the world of VO and I have no idea whether the pros would agree with me — that might be something that microphones would too easily catch. But, could be worth a try! -Hondo
Hi Anna, I agree with Robert overall. Two details I noticed: it feels like it would be possible to connect the thought of “dogs aren’t catching these cats” to the previous sentence a bit more. And, with regard to the copy, the cheetah section begins with a sentence, but the snow leopard section begins with you giving the title ‘snow leopard’ beforehand. I wonder if you could give us the transition into a new cat *on* the words “snow leopards” at the start of their section, without the title?
What I notice with the Milk read is that every word is really clear, but that in certain cases that clarity seems to be coming at the expense of flow. My hunch is that if you were to do a couple reads where you trust that all of this good work will show up, but throw it away a bit more, you might get a version of the whole thing that feels a little easier and more fluid. I think that goes for the ending slogan as well. I hope that’s helpful.
