Hi Mary. I would just echo Svenbot’s comments. I think your reading would benefit from being more conversational, like you were just chatting casually with your best friend and telling them about your X-terra. Hope this helps. Toque
Hi all! Another practise read below, for a PSA re: Drinking & Driving, from the Edge Library. Comments on any and all aspects are very much appreciated. Toque
Script:
As an emergency room surgeon, I’ve seen things most people never will. I have had to harden myself … so I can do my job.
But when I see another family ripped apart…because of a d***k driver…that really breaks my heart.
If you could see the damage done on a daily basis, like I do…You’d never drink and drive again.
Again Brian, great work! You’ve got some good variety in there. I numbered your voices from 1 – 10 in the order they appear on your reel. The only areas I thought there may be some similarity between voices were:
Voices # 2 and #3 (0:11 – 0:35), to my ear anyway, sounded quite similar, with # 3 just being louder.
Voices # 1 (0:00 – 0:11) and #5 (0:52 – 1:06 – “sorry I ate the landlord”) sounded similar to me.
Sounds great to me Brian! Feels like you’ve got the style and pace right. Audio is good and clear. I did notice 3 or 4 breath sounds along the way, but I’m still quite new to all this and haven’t had any coaching or practise on documentary style reads, so maybe a few breath sounds are acceptable in the longer documentary style reads? Either way, great job! Toque
Hi svenbot. On tone and pace, I think you’re great! One thing I did note was that i feel like I’m hearing some echo in the recording. Maybe a sound treatment issue in your recording space? Otherwise, very well done! Toque
Great job Katelyn! Very bright, clear read, nice pace. Makes me want to listen and learn. If I had any feedback for improvement, it would be that once or twice your “to” sounded like “ta”. I’ve done it myself many times. I try to avoid it by writing the word on my script as “2” rather than “to”. (Same thing with “4” instead of “for”). Excellent work! Toque
Hi Katelyn. To me, the second read feels truer to what you intended (subdued, luxurious), so I liked that one better. To really distinguish between the 2 reads, i may have gone with even more energy/upbeat for the first read. Great work though! Toque