[Toque]

I agree with Robert. Second one sounded much better, both in terms of your voice and the overall audio quality. Great job! Toque

[Toque]

I thought it sounded great Bil-Bo. Awesome strong, deep voice. Great enunciation and variance in intonation where appropriate. Sounds very professional to me, like a community/family man who owns a tractor. Toque

[Toque]

Thanks Katelyn! Good notes. T

[Toque]

Hi again all. A couple of comparatively different pieces today. Honest feedback is appreciated, and thanks so much to all who have commented on yesterday’s post!

Allstate script: Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can
afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?

Pier 1 Sale script: Hi, my name is Ron and for the next two weeks, I’ll be saying the word “and” a lot and I’m
pretty sure it’s because the Pier 1 Sale is going on now and it will end on January 10 and
yeah, that’s soon, scary, and I know that you can come to your local Pier 1 store to save up
to 50%, and sometimes more, on yummy scented candles and cool upholstered chairs and
really pretty mirrors and colorful pillows that are so, so cute and bedroom furniture that is
like real legitimate wood and oh, and this storage ottoman that is CHEETAH and how cool
is it that it’s CHEETAH and I really want it and I’m probably going to get it and maybe some
of that super cool dinnerware and maybe some new barstools for my new place AND some
bookshelves because I have a ton of books and little sparkly things and I really just want
my place to look nice, so why wouldn’t I get it before January 10 while it’s up to 50% off at
the Pier 1 Sale and is that a harp sound? I like harps

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Toque]

Thank you Mary! T

[Toque]

Hi Amitofu. First, thanks so much for your great feedback on my posting below. Really appreciate it.I’ll make my comments for each of your reads in the order they appear:

First read: Sounds great!

Second read:Not sure if that’s an English accent you’re trying to effect, or just a bit of a character accent? If English (and as someone with an English mother, grandmother, etc) I’d say it’s so-so and could use some work. My coach’s advice has been to avoid doing accents unless they’re “spot on”.

Third read: Great also – just one minor bit of slurring the word “savings” in “savings account”.

Fourth read: Great.

Fifth read: (Oliver’s Fox Squad) – I loved this one! I can easily imagine hearing it on a promo during Saturday morning cartoons!

Sixth read: Also very good. As with Mary’s comments, I’m impressed with the range of voices you have. Great work!

Toque.

[Toque]

Hi Mary. Overall a good read. The one note I might make is something I struggle with as well – Energy. It just feels a bit like you’re holding back on the excitement/enthusiasm for the gym. Toque

[Toque]

Thanks for the feedback Josh! It’s actually reflective of something I said to my coach the other day, which was that I often feel like I’m narrating too much, and not “acting” the part enough. Much appreciated! T

[Toque]

Hey folks! I’m new and just starting to work with a coach toward developing a demo. Would really appreciate your honest feedback on this first posting. I look forward to your comments, and providing same for your projects. Thanks! Toque

Here’s the direction for the piece:

This is a serious spot defending American jobs. Towards the end, VO should be urging viewer to take action. Not too over the top of an attack, but it should convey some disappointment and frustration with partisan Washington politics that prevents progress on jobs.

And here’s the script:

You sent a message to Washington.
Loud and clear.
Focus on the economy and jobs.
Show the taxpayers that Congress can work again.

Unfortunately, others have a different agenda.
The same politicians who brought us a government shutdown and led the U.S. to the brink of default have a new bad idea:
Ending the X-M Bank, which is designed to help American employers and American jobs.
These jobs and workers in the Export-Import economy deserve support.
Do the right thing for our economy and support the X-M Bank.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Toque. Reason: forgot to add text of script

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Author]

Replies