Tim Kraft
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Overall I think you nailed this one! Your voice is a great match to the topic (trusting and concerned, as an insurance company SHOULD be). It’s 15 seconds exactly, which is likely what the script writer intended so the pacing is perfect. Ending with a question is tough, so many ways to handle but I think you did it well. Nice job!
Thanks for the feedback – sounds like I have to work on the mouth noise/clicks, something I didn’t hear. I’ve had that problem when talking directly into the mic, instead of “past” it or at a slight angle. Cutting back the coffee probably wouldn’t hurt, though I never drink it in the booth. Thanks again.
Hi Logan DFD – I find the opening and the closing line the strongest/most conversational and most like a commercial. In between sounds like you’re happy, but a bit disinterested. I think much of this is the script. There’s a lot of repetition (i.e. “without nasty toxins” and “mineral clean/mineral toothpaste/mineral flavors”). Of course not all jobs you win are going to have great scripts! I find if you’re gonna have to do repetition, trying to make each repeated word/phrase a little different than the other. Maybe hit “without” in the first instance and add a little “ewwww” to nasty toxins on the second. Perhaps give a little “sparkle” to fresh. Your voice sounds naturally positive and upbeat – relax and go with that, it’s not a gift that everyone has!
Hi all – looking for some feedback on the attached – delivery, tone (was going for the ever-popular “conversational”), record quality – all feedback welcome! It was specified as 15 seconds, so keep that in mind regarding the pacing. Always appreciate the comments here, it’s super helpful. Thanks.
Nice smooth voice, great diction (wish I and that! Always working on it) and the record quality sounds fine. I think the tone of both could be a bit lighter/fun, especially Purina since pets are great for humor. Do you have both reads planned for your demo? I only ask because to my ear, your voice seems like a natural for luxury brands, computer/tech or anything “dad-centric”…perhaps more than for everyday consumer goods.
Best of luck with the demo! I’m recording a narration demo next week, so pardon me if I’m a little obsessed with scripts and what bests showcases each voice. I’m in the thick of it!
Hi all – back on the board after a brief hiatus. Working on a narration demo, so wanted to post a baseline of where I’m at now. Previous training has been in promo and just on the front-end of narration coaching. Basically I’m winging it, based on listening to other e-learning samples. Script is from a P2P site, with the usual vague direction “natural, approachable voice for a mental health e-learning module”.
Any and all feedback is welcome, from comments on the read itself to technical feedback.
Thanks as always!
Hi Lance – Loving the energy you bring to the read! Don’t lose that, but I think you should tone down the enthusiasm. When I started with a coach, I recall being told (often) when I went “over the top”…that’s what I’m hearing here. You have a wonderful narration voice, reminds me of Jean Shepard in “A Christmas Story”. Let your natural excitement and sincerity shine through and I think this will sound like a more real experience that people can envision, which is what it’s all about (unless the director tells you otherwise of course).
I’m hearing some plosives, are you using a pop filter? If so, you can probably dial back the ennunciation. Again, just guessing that your natural style is already quite articulate.
Hoping this helps!
