rustylj63

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  • in reply to: Feedback Forum #77463
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi, I liked the way you read Bona. The only thing I’d say about it is that it sounded like you said “harwood” instead of hardwood towards the end.
    Google Pixel was also pretty strong. Listen to the way you say Google Pixel at the end, then listen to the way you say it at the beginning. I think the second one sounds a lot better.
    I would have to say the Kia read was my least favorite. It sounds like you don’t have an opinion about it.
    Hope this helps.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77462
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Nettipo, I really like the honda read. At the very beginning I thought it odd that your energy dropped as you talked about meeting cute guys on the highway. I thought that would be exciting. I loved the way you talked about meeting Harold and Vinnie… your emotion sounded perfect on that part to me. The ending was also quite good.

    I listened to the Snapple bit a few times. I think what I was listening to was the pacing. If this were a narration I think the pace would be very good, clear diction, lots of room for it to breathe. But, if this is more of a commercial then it could be more conversational (a quicker pace). Other than that I think it sounded good.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77461
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Grace, Gill makes a very good point about your pausing/pacing. The lists have too much space between the elements and at one point you have a pause between represents and Ethan Allen which should not be there. Work on your pacing a bit and this will sound so much better.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77460
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hey Bil-Bo, good read. I like your voice for this. I’m not sure if the vocal fry is intentional or natural but it gives you an aged, wise sound (like a good glass of wine). The only thing I heard that I would change is a pause towards the end. When you’re reading the line: “But our greatest achievement lives in knowing that everything we’ve learned is yours to enjoy each time your pour a glass of our wine.” you have a pause that breaks up the flow after enjoy. The pause makes it sound like “each time you pour a glass of wine” is an independent clause, but it isn’t. Try reading it without that pause and see how it sounds.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77459
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Grace, I think you did a good job on this for the most part. The main issue I have is that it sounds like you are whispering. Maybe increasing your gain a little will make it easier to hear. I was listening to David Goldberg talk about gain today. He said that two equally talented voice artists applying for the same job, one has good amplitude levels and the other is too low, the one with good levels will get the job, simply because it sounds better because it is easier to hear. Just something to think about.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77385
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Alli,

    I think Gill gave you some great advice. I heard the same things she was talking about in both narrations. You’re pauses are long in places and it does create some confusion… it’s like is she done, oh nope… not done there’s more. Also, there were a few times you pronounced “the” more like “duh” your th sound is coming out like a d in a few places.
    One last little note… can you turn up the gain on your microphone? Your recordings were very quiet and whenever a listener turns up the volume they’re going to hear a little extra noise.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77383
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hey Marioh,

    Congrats on your first practice recording. I agree with both RBenes and Gill. This was a great first post! A couple of things I noticed was (as RBenes noted) a fluctuation in your volume (probably moving around the mic). A biggy though is the mispronunciation of arboretum you pronounced it ar-bor-ay-tum and it should be ar-bor-ee-tum. If you are unsure of pronunciation, most online dictionaries will provide pronunciations as well. Hey, it happens to all of us. I got busted on a word today. I was pronouncing it with a mid-west dialectal sound which is great in the mid-west, but its pronouced differently every where else. Also, when you said “scroll” it sounded to me like you were saying “shcroll” both times you said it.

    Keep it up man. It only gets better with practice!

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77381
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Nailah,

    You’ve got a great sounding voice, for the most part your pitch and tempo are very good. In “Milk”I heard your volume change a couple of times and in both pieces there are some words you are not finishing. With sounds like wit in a couple of places and you dropped a couple of Ks.
    In Carnation, again, voice is great, I wonder if the tempo might be just a little slow though. You dropped the last letter on a couple of words in this one too (breakfas & coul (instead of could).
    You’re sounding good though.

    in reply to: Feedback Forum #77378
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hey Folks,
    It’s almost demo time… I could really use some honest feedback. Please don’t worry about the recording quality, I’m sitting at my desk, in an untreated room, with the fan blowing because it’s HOT! Seriously though, I’d love your honest feedback on my narrations.
    Thanks in advance!

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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #76943
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hi Nisha,
    I liked both of your reads. Your tempo is good and your voice is, for the most part, clear and sharp. There were a couple of words in “Nature’s Recyclers” that I think got muddled a little, but both reads sounded good!

Viewing 10 replies - 11 through 20 (of 60 total)