rogue1
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Hello, everyone! Another home record…trying for a conversational quality with a bit of humor. All comments welcome–thanks for taking the time to listen!
7-11
“So it’s 2AM on a Tuesday…and you are starving. Nothing in the fridge, nothing in the cupboard, not even a stray chip in the sofa cushions. You think about cooking and then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started the last time you even looked at the oven. But then you remember, 7-11. There’s gotta be one right near you. And they have everything from mouth-watering burgers to spicy tacos to crispy pizza all piping hot and ready to go. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Oh thank heaven, for 7-11.”
Hi Mary! Another lovely, clear, and inviting read–I definitely feel the “nice neighbor down the street” vibe effortlessly emanating from your performance. I would second Alexis’ suggestion of continuing to massage your performance to make it sound even more natural and conversational. (This is something I work to hone myself). Keep up the great work!
Hey Tim! Great read–you definitely nailed the witty and confident energy you set out to capture. One thought: to my ear, your conversational flow seems to halt a bit in a few spots (sounding more like you’re reading rather than leaning over the fence to give your neighbor the inside scoop on kitchen appliances). Perhaps change up your emphasis a bit (Hit “We” harder on “We do it right, too” for instance) to continue the flow of conversation in an even more natural manner. Keep up the great work!
Hello, Chas. Thanks for having a listen! Definitely tripped over that blasted “ta”–glad you folks have sharp ears as I totally missed it!
Hi Mary! Thank you for the thoughtful feedback. Still some bugs to iron out (*shakes fist at “ta” reading*) but I’ll get there! Appreciate your taking the time to listen!
Hey Tim, thank you for the great feedback! Good point on the “slice and dice” seeming misapplied to the product and will definitely look at hitting other words in the script to be more impactful in subsequent reads.
Hi Chas, Really great read! I enjoy the warm quality of your voice and the sincerity of your performance. Strangely enough, I co-wrote this script for a pitch, so it’s fun to hear it performed by other actors! I’ll echo others’ thoughts in that you might definitely channel more of your inner “excited dog” into your read. Frontline makes it so that your canine friends can safely “Live off the Leash” in reckless abandon, so definitely try a few takes where you tear into the read like it’s a brand new pair of your master’s slippers. 🙂
Hi Amber! Congratulations on your first post! Folks are very kind here, so I know you’ll feel welcome.
You performed a really lovely read–very clear, warm, and inviting. You also do a good job in sounding conversational and “real” (as opposed to sounding like you’re reading a script). My one suggestion would to be lean into that conversational aspect even more and further push the persona that you’re a mom excited by the talents of your child. For example, the segment where you talk about how “he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer…” sounds a touch like you’re reading a list instead of building in excitement as to what your creative child has already achieved through LEGO bricks.
Hope you find that helpful–keep up the awesome work!
Hello everyone! Had posted this earlier, received some very constructive feedback (Thanks, BrianWiggins!), and thought I’d post again back-to-back to gauge any improvement.
Trying for a fast–yet still clear–delivery. All comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks for listening!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ELECTRONIC MASKS
“Slice and Dice! With the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles electronic masks, you’ll always be ready to “turtle up”! Take that, Shredder! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles each sold separately by Playmates.”
