mrgenadry

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  • in reply to: Feedback Forum #60964
    mrgenadry
    Participant

    Hi there, folks. My first ever recording post. Let me know what you think. Have a great 2021!

    Benjamin Moore – “Love”

    This may sound trite, or cliche.
    And maybe if we were talking about chocolate and flowers, it would be.
    But we’re talking about paint, so hear us out.
    Love is an amazing thing. It has the power to change everything.
    A love of craft can turn work and labor into an act of creative expression.
    Love can make you see past obvious flaws in a facade, to the beauty underneath.
    Love can turn a pair of hands into a set of tools.
    Love can turn pigment and polymers into magical liquid.
    Love can turn a house into a home.
    And turn a bunch of homes into a community.
    Love can transform. And when you want your love to transform a home…
    There is no other paint than Benjamin Moore.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by mrgenadry.
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    in reply to: Feedback Forum #60963
    mrgenadry
    Participant

    Really good read! One thing that’s helped me with commercial copy is to imagine the script as the middle of the conversation, not the beginning. Either you’re telling someone something they don’t know, or they’ve just told you something with which you disagree. This can elevate your excitement and increase the energy of the read.

    In this case, I would imagine that you’re making small talk with a new client about a recent experience with identity theft. They’ve heard of Private Payments, but they thought it sounded like BS. So the question “Do you know me?” can be a little more authoritative; you both already know the answer is no. Then, accent the contrast: “In my BUSINESS, recognition is always important.” Changing that opening motivation might help you keep the urgency up throughout the read.

    Best of luck!

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