[mravenel]

Thank you both for the great feedback once you both pointed out the pausing it did sound like I was being overly dramatic.
Appreciate it,
M

[mravenel]

Really good… great if this were an audition submit both takes… you have range and both are so different great acting to be able to change it up awesome character read.

[mravenel]

More practice for a narration/documentary demo would love your feedback! Thanks all

Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.

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[mravenel]

Hey Brian, I think it is warm and similar in vibe and tone to the reference video… I would really hit a little harder (safeguarding you, your businesses, and your assets.) Also the tagline at the end (More Powerful, More Pelco) could be a little stronger. Good Luck!! You got this! Marty R.

[mravenel]

Hey superLuke, need more info about your studio to really try and diagnose the problem. Basements can be great spaces to work in, but like any space they need acoustic treatment. That might be what’s needed some thick moving blankets what ever can deaden the room. Also in the recording there is some clipping distortion when you are at your loudest part of the script. Setting your levels a little lower and or adding a little compression to even out the dynamics can help. Great performance though. Hope this may help.

[mravenel]

Great tone, great read, great sound… you nailed it!

[mravenel]

I think I edited out a breath before the last sentence that made it go a little closer together… good call in a little more spacing for emphasis.

[mravenel]

Thanks yeah great catch now I hear the advil as a little nasally and not as articulate as could be. Thanks for the feedback

[mravenel]

Hey great read pacing was nice, interpretation of the copy was on point only criticism I have is the sound quality could be a little better, but you made me want to travel again. 😉

[mravenel]

Hey all just looking for constructive criticism Thanks;

Advil
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.

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