[mkell755]

Hi Katelyn! This sounds good. It felt like the size of the park could have been read a little faster (6,641 square kilometers). I know it is a number, but it gets stretched out a little longer than needed to me. The park is big but you also would want to emphasize not only the size of the park but moreso the list of qualities about the park. The list of items sounded fine to me. It’s hard to vary the tone for each one when you have so many items (7?), but I think you did a good job with that. Good work!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi everyone! I am uploading this recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you!

Mary

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• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by mkell755.

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[mkell755]

Hi Tim! Good read! Good decisive tone throughout. I think the emphasis on the appropriate words is good on the lists portion, but I think you could possibly punch up or vary the tone a little more for heads, directions and movies. Very good!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi CYeschenko! I too have to practice many times to get a recording that feels good enough to post, glad to hear I’m not the only one!

I liked the read – good pace, clarity and flow of the script, and I think your voice is well-suited for this commercial. I noticed that “…holiday treats” sounded like it ended with an question mark instead of a period, as well as the last word “happy”, but those are very minor points. Overall very well done!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Chas! Very nice. You have a deep, warm, rich smooth tone. Good read for your voice with good variation during the read to make it interesting. Good job!!

Mary

[mkell755]

Thank you for the feedback Kathy! I will work on the enthusiasm and making the inflections more varied, good points. Thanks again!

Mary

[mkell755]

Thanks for the feedback RYoung! I will work on the upward inflections – it’s a hard habit to break for me, I will work on the passion and inspiration too. Thanks!

Mary

[mkell755]

Wow – thank you mrtripo9! I really appreciate it. Yes, the bracket tip is gold! I’m using that. Thanks!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Tim! This sounds really good. Good flow and pace and clarity, and with the appropriate words emphasized. Good job!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hi Kathy, sure, you are welcome! It’s a serious topic (life safety), but I think delivering serious messages in an upbeat way can make them more palatable? As long as it sounds professional in the delivery (which your voice does) it works. Thanks!

Mary

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