[Mitch_Crawford]

Yes! The more I listen to it and see the feedback, I need to embrace that first one more and let loose. Radio spot. Gracias Mauricio!

[Mitch_Crawford]

PrettyLoud, these are great…I really felt like you were talking to ME in the first script, especially on the first try of the AmeriHealth spot. It wasn’t too long (they could perhaps speed up your final line with the website by a quarter second to get it under 30), and it felt warmer and even a bit friendlier than the second. Great voice! 🙂
With regard to the B2B, I LOVED your enunciation throughout. This will sound strange, but it felt almost…personable AND robotic at the same time. Almost like the British Siri was speaking American English. It was a great combination. It being B2B, your voice also sounded very smart and self-assured, as businesses should. Sorry…no complaints!

[Mitch_Crawford]

Thanks John, much appreciated! Good point on the setting of the two scripts, radio vs TV. I would perhaps be even livelier for a radio bit–hadn’t thought of that!

[Mitch_Crawford]

I see what you’re saying upon listening again. The first doesn’t flow quite as smoothly. Thanks RYoung!

[Mitch_Crawford]

Hello again! I have two lawn company scripts I’m testing. Please analyze and critique! What sounds good, and what doesn’t? Thanks!
Script One: Come to D***y Hands Garden Center for all your gardening needs. We carry hundreds of trees, shrubs and perennials, herbs, organics, garden art and accessories, and more! Visit us at 2603 Anderson Highway, off route 60-West just 7 minutes from Sycamore Square or on the web at dirtyhandsgardencenter.com. And remember: “Compost, because a rind is a terrible thing to waste.”
Script Two: 6. At Portage Turf, we firmly believe in taking care of Mother Earth, which is why we provide an organic lawn care program that is 100% certified with the Organic Materials Review Institute. We pride ourselves in greatly reducing chemical use on lawns, and our organic service is an extra step we take to further lessen the impact on the planet. Portage Turf Specialists. Naturally Better Lawn Care.

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[Mitch_Crawford]

Thanks for that–I would’ve missed it for sure! I’m pretty new to VO, so I do tend to revert to announcer style. I’m trying to focus on my own voice and avoid ‘acting’. Thanks for the feedback! I have two new ones coming up in a couple minutes and would love for you to analyze them.

[Mitch_Crawford]

Great read Tom! I agree with Steve on the 5/8s. What I love the most is how you tackle that list! (:27) Your pauses are perfect, and the subtle shift in tone is outstanding! I really have to work at lists, but you have them spot on. Love this read!

[Mitch_Crawford]

Hi Tom! I love the transition from the first paragraph to the third. Your tempo is great, and the inflection of the word “inside” is stellar! Only gripe is that your pronunciation of the word edema seems to have an ‘n’ in it, as it ‘ENdema.’ Great read!

[Mitch_Crawford]

Love the lead in! It’s a great read, keeping to the specs nicely. I love how you slightly over-pronounce the word “fuel” at :20. It gives it a friendly, natural tone. Tough to find flaws, but if there was anything, consider the tone on the words “energy management system.” Seems like it runs with the rest of the sentence. Consider separating that component with the slightest pause to emphasize what you are talking about next, giving the reader a chance to transition their thoughts to the energy management system from the previous topic (the car being propelled). “The energy management system determines….” Super minor thought, but it was the only place I lost focus on the topic. Great read Tom!

[Mitch_Crawford]

Hi Mary! I liked how you did the list items in the second one better–you changed up the tone on the items so it didn’t seem as much like a bullet list. What if that list sounded even more s**y/enticing? Yes, eating broccoli can actually be as such, especially with these yummy words! Fun read!

[Author]

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