[RGK3]

Hi all:

I’d appreciate any feedback on these two reads, particularly on pacing and whether they sound conversational. Am I hitting the right money words?

Thanks!

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[RGK3]

Hi,

I liked both of these reads. The Coors one was most successful. I found it conversational and you told the story well. I think you missed a couple of opportunities in the AmEx. The 0% benefit could probably have been emphasized more than the fact that it’s introductory, for example.

[RGK3]

Hi,

Nice job. I think you told the story well in the Burt’s Bees spot and your inflections matched the text appropriately. I think you could have gotten more out of the end of the thought on “so you can be a force” if you slowed it down and emphasized the benefit more strongly (being a force).

The AmEx spot felt less conversational. The inflections made sense, but the pacing felt a little flat and it was less clear you were communicating directly to someone.

[RGK3]

Thank you for the thoughtful feedback.

[RGK3]

Hi,

Nice job. The pacing is good and the diction is clear. On the constuctive side, I didn’t hear a great deal of transition between the beginning, middle, and end, and the read felt more presentational than conversational.

[RGK3]

Hello all:

I’d appreciate any feedback on the reads attached, particularly concerning the flow.

Thanks!

Attachments:

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[RGK3]

Hello,

I’ve attached two reads in advance of my next session. I’d appreciate any feedback on the reads themselves. Many thanks in advance!

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[RGK3]

Hi,

These are nice. Very clear and the tone and pace are appropriate. I liked 4 better. It was more specific and there was more variation as you described the music choices. It sounded like you were experiencing the platform and sharing your experience with someone.

[RGK3]

Hi:

These are very nice reads, very natural with lots of specifics. The only note I’d give is that sometimes the pauses between phrases throw off the natural rhythm a bit.

[RGK3]

Hi,
Nice work. I think what would help your reads a bit is thinking about who you’re talking to and why you’re telling them these stories. That might help you keep them more conversational and help you create natural variations througout the reads to highlight different points.

[Author]

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