[Mike_Control]

Oh my gosh I love the way you annunciate ‘hundreds!’ I was hooked on the narration, but when you get to the ‘great for humans’ bit your narration could be more conversational. As a listener, I felt like you were reading a brochure rather than talking to me about the migration.

[Mike_Control]

Man, I swear copywriters should take their scripts and go beta-test them to a random person on the street to see if it sounds normal.

Anyway, here are two commercial scripts. If you listen to them, let me know if the ending of the MILK ad sounds natural. If I sound conversational, the ending slogan sounds less punchy; however, if I really lean into the pitch, then it doesn’t sound normal.

Thoughts?

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[Mike_Control]

Hey guys,

Here are two quick VO’s for some homework. One is for a wine company, the other for JC Penny. By all means, comment on whatever comes to mind. Thanks!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Mike_Control.

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[Mike_Control]

Hey! Thanks for your feedback on my post, it helps a lot in narrowing my improvement! You do a fantastic job annunciating your script and I couldn’t tell that you were recording on your phone. The “Except for children…important questions” part sounds like a lecture, so it’d be great if you could casual-ify that. I can’t wait to see how it comes out!

[Mike_Control]

Hey friends!

I’m just getting started with my lessons, so this is my first time posting and asking for feedback. I’m trying to work on being more conversational in my takes, so any advice would be great!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Mike_Control.

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