JamesB
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I think you did excellent. I think this is a very conversational read. Something that caught my attention was that it sounds a bit like you changed up the energy and gave more variety in your tone starting at the “The Freatom to eat ’em” line.
Good job! I grew up in California and speak fast naturally, so I’m in the same boat. Sarah’s advice is great. I’d suggest doing a few different reads of the script with a different person in mind each time. You may be surprised with how different each recording is and you’ll find your ideal person to visualize for different commercial types/topics.
Thank you for sharing. Our peers here have given good feedback, so my advice on how to improve is to take that advice and practice as much as possible. Best of luck on your V.O. Journey, hope to hear your progress on here in the future.
First, I agree with Marcus that it sounds great. You are speaking clearly while keeping conversational. If you hadn’t mentioned the “fumble”, I probably wouldn’t have heard it. For being very new, you’re getting this quicker and better than I am. I could be wrong but there is a slight difference in delivery once you get to the list of differences, to my ear. Not a bad thing, just something that stuck out to me. Keep up the good work!
Good job! You have variety throughout the read and nailed emphasis on those ‘money’ words, drawing my attention to them. The delivery sounded conversational, perhaps more like speaking to colleagues on the topic than one-on-one conversation but I think that works for this script. It sounds like you have natural pauses breaking up the word flow making it sound more conversational, but there are times when it sounds almost a little rushed to my ear. That could be reverb from your recording space causing the pause to sound shorter than it actually is, so maybe nothing. Again, good job!
I think it’s the same issue I have. The pacing and delivery sound a little like you are just reading a page causing it to seem ‘flat’. I believe that’s what you’re feeling is off about this read. I can only give advice that I hear and usually works for me. Find the words that deserve emphasis and give some variety in your delivery of those words to draw attention to them. Then, once you got that figured out go back and read it as if you are speaking to someone about the product. Hope that helps and hopefully some of our more experienced colleagues will give their thoughts.
I think the two previous replies are spot on. I look forward to hearing your next take on this and how you work in the suggestions you’re getting here.
First, great job on all three. In my opinion, take 3 was your best. It had more emphasis on keywords and sounded more conversational than take 1 or 2, to my ear. It also sounded like you had more ‘energy’ at the end of the third take than the other two. All were good, I just liked 3 the best for those reasons. Again, great job!
