Grace17
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Your audio volume level is great and your voice is perfect for this read! I would say the beginning up until “running mates” needs more flow in the words, it’s a little choppy with pauses that are too long. Try not to overthink what you’re saying and lastly I would recommend trying to let more of your personality out. You had more personality from “This video” onwards but it’ll be great to hear that more through out.
Not too explainy at all! Thank you for the feedback! You mentioned really good points I’ll work on:)
Yes, sounds like a good amount of pitch range. Definitely doesn’t sound monotone. Thinking of a particular person or situation that makes you feel in a way that is appropriate to the script, and not holding back your personality could also help against sounding monotone.
The ziploc read, though good technique-wise, sounded disengaged from the product. It’ll be more engaging if you smiled when speaking of ziploc’s superiority so that i believe that you believe what you’re saying. I also liked the first Nike read better, your tone fit with the message of the read(i.e.: perseverance, strength, etc.), whereas the tone of the second read sounded uninvested in the message.
Hi Marti,
Your voice really suits the cosmos read, but on my end your volume is too low, so if you’re using an audio interface, you should turn the dial up on the input. I had the same problem and that helped me. For both reads, I would recommend not to try too hard so you don’t say things in a way that is forceful, like “scattered” in the cosmos read. On the cosmos read, your style of reading seems to change dramatically from “on which we know” to be more sing-songy and have a wider pitch range. I think the change is too dramatic, so it’s shocking and distracts from what you’re saying. It’s fine to change pace, emotion, etc. in a read but I think the change is unjustified, in this case.
I would also recommend listing each phrase characterizing earth as if it ends in a period, rather than inverting(discussed in Edge Studio guidebook) the last word of each phrase. This would make you sound more like an expert as you list it, instead of sounding casual.
With the wonder years read, though I heard the slight changes in emotions as you say each phrase, i think you could be more believable. I think to help with believability, you should have a reason for everything your character says. Not trying too hard, and trusting the analysis you’ve done on the script beforehand could help improve the reads.The energy remains high in both reads which makes it interesting to listen to, and I think the pacing is pretty good in both. You might be a little choppy in the first sentence of the Corona read, but leaving space between words could work with tv as that could be when images appear on the screen and the pauses could lend to dramatic effect. For the Cannabis read, i think it would lend to your credibility to not invert(mentioned in Edge Studio’s guidebook) the word “children” but to end the word as if it were the end of a sentence like you did with the word “influence” at the end of the audio.
Hi Everyone! I would appreciate feedback on any or all of the audios below:) My voice is a little croaky in the sleep aid read, but I’ll like to know what you think of it regardless. The Ozark Audio Description is meant to be an aid to the visually impaired while watching the show, the audio is supposed to be interlaced into the show but I reduced the duration between my sentences to make the audio shorter. Thank you in advance!
Hi Dillon,
I think a playful attitude is great for the discovery kids read, slowing down a bit would help the audience process what you’re saying. This is a descriptive read that I think is meant to paint a picture in the listener’s mind of what animal this could possibly be, with the adjectives “big”, “stinky” and words “see” and “dark.” So I would suggest placing more value on/hitting those words. The degree to which you hit those descriptive and valuable words is up to you. I think painting a fun picture in your mind of what you’re saying would help you hit the words without overemphasizing them. You elongated “discovery kids” at the end which sounds great to me.In the breast cancer read, you sound a little emotionally removed so try talking to or thinking of someone specifically and connecting to the essence of what you’re saying. The pacing is good though! Getting closer to the mic for the breast cancer read is a nice choice, for a more intimate read. I noticed you overstated the “t” in “breast” and “fight”, so watch out for over-enunciating. I also suggest getting more purposeful about what words to hit, otherwise you miss the opportunity to hit some very valuable words and be the most effective. Though breast cancer is a serious topic, try experimenting with a more conversational read, instead of a more professional and removed read. I think being more conversational will match with the intimacy created by being closer to the mic.
If you’re not already, consider doing tongue twisters while holding a pencil between your teeth to improve articulation. Just a little bit of that can make a big difference.
