BrianWigginsVO
Forum Replies Created
-
Replies
-
Agree with the previous two folks, you seem to connect with the first script more. If you did decide to give the second one another go, I would really lay it on thick with how decadent the warm blondie is be slowing it down just a hair.
…now I need to get a taco.
There’s some inflection there, but I’m not really getting any emotion from the read, overall.
What are the qualities of Jaguar that you are trying to convey? What does the brand say about the person who drives this car? Find those emotional touch points, and find the words that emphasize that image and emotion and give it more punch.
Also, is this a scratch track (it’s OK if it is) or is this the equipment you will be recording on? If it’s the latter, I can hear a lot of compression, so there is a lot of body missing from your voice.
First: “Take a trip”…the “a” should be a short “a”, like “ah”, not a long “a” like the Canadian “eh”.
Second…it comes across overall as rather flat. There isn’t much in the way of change in inflection, and I’m not getting any emotion behind this. Try to find the important words and ways to emphasize them by changing the inflection. Try to find who this read is for, and talk to them.
Also, the second part of the first sentence really feels mashed together, like you’re rushing through it. Slow it down, let it breathe.
Good afternoon!
So a few things jump out that you may want to address:
– You sometimes slur between words, specifically a few times where you say “t'” instead of “to”, and “‘n” instead of “and”. One fix that my coach taught me was that, where appropriate (such as in a corporate or very formal video/VO) to scratch out the word “to” and write the number “2”.
– “The” with a long “e” should be used when it precedes a word that begins with a vowel (“Thee apple”), and a short “e” when preceding words beginning with a consonant (“Thugh pear”).
– “A” should only be a long “a” (like the Canadian “eh”) when emphasizing a strong emotion. (“Give. Me. A. Chance.”) Otherwise, “a” should be a short “a” as in “ah”.
– There are few times, especially in the second script, where you hit really h*****n the “t” sounds and it’s a bit jarring. Enunciation doesn’t mean having to pronounce every letter individually, especially if it takes away from the overall read. It’s possible to hit the “t” sound in words like “important” without hitting the letter so hard.Overall, a good start.
