Brandon Bell
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Hi CatGirlMSU, I have some feedback on your “A-Haunting Tale” read. In your About Horror read, your tone is very educational and informative, like a historical eBook. It works there! I think you’ve carried that tone over to your Haunting Tale read which makes it seem like you’re a school teacher educating us about evil—instead of a haunting show or sinister narration, like a Halloween X-files opening.
You could add a lingering whisper with each of your pauses. Add heavier breaths on core words like “REAL evil” “DARKEST shadows” “things we FEAR” “NIGHTMARES…” Slow down the pace in the second half, “there are doors. When they are opened…nightmares”, leave room for suspense after each line. You zip through them quickly like a single sentence. Maybe try them as separate. As you read “there are doors…”, imagine the sound & image of a glowing red door creaking open along with a whispery pause—to help feel suspense before then next line. As an example.
Check out this piece from haunting actor Vincent Prince:
A Haunting Title
In this world, there is real evil.
In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places.
These are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable, Between the world we see, and the things we fear.
There are doors.
When they are opened.
Nightmares become reality.Thanks Evette for your feedback and taking time to listen. I like horror series so this was a fun take. The “What’s next” vibe is cool to hear :). I was an X-Files fan and Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Tales from the Krypte and ID Channel Haunted Mansions series.
Thanks for your feedback nettipo1. I’ll work on ways to emphasize words and prevent tone bleed-over between reads. It’s something I noticed in other posts too! 🙂 Have to turn off previous character for sure.
Hey Everyone,
Feedback is welcome. I’m new to the community, under coaching with Issa Deas.
Attached is 1) A Haunting Tale and 2) HLC Tech PhysicsHi CatGirlMSU, I have some feedback on your “A-Haunting Tale” read. In your About Horror read, your tone is very educational and informative, like a historical eBook. It works there! I think you’ve carried that tone over to your Haunting Tale read which makes it seem like you’re a school teacher educating us about evil—instead of a haunting show or sinister narration, like a Halloween X-files opening.
You could add a lingering whisper with each of your pauses. Add heavier breaths on core words like “REAL evil” “DARKEST shadows” “things we FEAR” “NIGHTMARES…” Slow down the pace in the second half, “there are doors. When they are opened…nightmares”, leave room for suspense after each line. You zip through them quickly like a single sentence. Maybe try them as separate. As you read “there are doors…”, imagine the sound & image of a glowing red door creaking open along with a whispery pause—to help feel suspense before then next line. As an example.
Check out this haunting narration by Vincent Prince (used in MJ’s Thriller opening)
Hi Tamanitw1, I have some feedback for your reads. You have a welcoming voice overall between both. In Hallmark it starts off pretty inviting with high pitch combined with a feminine straight tone. It has LifeTime channel charm with the personality you’ve added! Some improvement is after “countdown to Christmas”, your vibe seems to shifts to newscaster, a faster pace than the first half, the words rush together.
Pandora-Charm-Bracelet has newcaster formal tone throughout—-almost educational. You have an excellent tone voice for front-line news! Ask your coach about these recordings. What’s missing in the Pandora one is the “magic” of buying one of these bracelets—like it gives you superpowers. Check out the “magic” upbeat vibe from this Macy’s parody commercial:
@CBrown865, I have some feedback for your Premiere-League. Your voice tone and pace are consistent throughout. But try to vary the pitch like you’d hear in a toy commercial so I can feel the excitement. The “it’s wow, it’s whoa, and what-the?!…three points, exclusive live matches” should come off like a mega-fan of the game is saying it. Those lines can be full of wonder and excitement, then down a casual wind-down pitch when saying ‘three points, exclusive live matches’. Maybe add a pause between the exciting lines and more conclusive half of the sentence.
Look at these Bop-it commercials. YouTube Bop-it commercial playlist
The same way a kid narrates these with surprise, excitement and build-up, would be the same way a grown man might express those wows and whoa’s from the Premiere League.
