Brad
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Solid work fellow newbie 🙂
I can totally hear the command and knowledge of what you are saying and why.Invisalign – Keep trying to connect to another person, perhaps you are speaking to a co-worker who said hey I see you did invisalign, why did you do that. Well, your smile says alot about you…and try to think about adding variety into your conversation (which is the ad copy) to make is seem more natural rather than ‘read’
AMEX – When given question marks… ask the question, don’t make them rhetorical, or periods. (I struggle with this all the time) Also with this copy try making the person you’re talking to perhaps a person who just had identity theft occur and you are trying to console them, or you are convincing a friend why protecting privacy is important rather than just ‘read’
Again just ideas.
Congratulations on jumping in with solid work!
Hi Tim! Good stuff here!
Solid clear reads, and I think your set up sounds good, and your lists are varied I can hear the choice making (not in a bad way)
I’m a little new to narration so please take my feedback with a grain of salt.
for 4H you appear to have a sort of either natural or added (i’m not sure) sort of up and down flow to your speech. I might try to limit the operative words picked in a sentence to help limit the up and down flow. Example ‘It BEGAN with the SEED of an IDEA’ Try just just one or two as operative. example “It BEGAN with the seed of an idea” This may help to make your flow a little smoother and allow a quicker tempo if that is what you were after
I would track this same idea for the other two, looking at where you can tone down some operatives with flow. Again just ideas. I think you obviously know your voice and copy best.
Again great work!
Great work Lilbelle, I remember your previous read. Definite improvement!
I might add thinking about being excited as you read this… not more volume but excitement in your voice. Imagine telling about a cool thing you just did. We tell friends fun things with a different kind of animation. Just as a suggestion.
Also it seems you may have run out of breath at the end. ‘at staying here’ sort of dropped off. Perhaps try to find other places to get your catch breath to be able to complete the line.
again great work!Hi Friends, Uploading some more homework. Working on clarity, pace, natural speech, connection, you know… all the things
Happy to get feedback!Bayer Aspirin
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Adidas, very minor thought to tap the word ‘and’ as it seems to get slightly swallowed in-between antiperspirants ‘and’ deodorants making to set up that there are two separate items being sold.for Spotify again minor – I might try to make the things you are comparing a just a little more different, example Hip hop or K-Pop sound a little the same.
also I might try to take the whole thing and make it a little more personal. Who are you talking to? Doesn’t it s**k when you can’t skip more than 6 times. If you haven’t heard of this, I’ve got a solution…Hey Stuart, Great reads. Very casual and upbeat. I really like listening to you lean into your natural voice without attempting to ‘hide’ it. The flow you have is to be admired.
For the Smooth Jazz read it may be fun to try a little (hard to say this without being a little cheeky) more ‘smooth jazz’ flavor – again just for fun. Just to see what that point of view does to the read
For eyewitness news I’ be curious to hear what more of the bass notes of your voice sound like (again just for fun)
Nice work.
Hey All,
Putting up some more commercial homework.
Definitely attempting to avoid pitching down at the end of sentences. Also thought I’d try some short copy for fun.
1. Foxwoods
2. Georgia Aquarium
3. Steak-Umm
Always happy to get more feedback. Thanks!!!Way to try to tackle a tough challenge Lilbelle. Great work.
I might suggest in attempting to be less choppy, to try to say the whole thing through a couple of times ignoring the punctuation and making the whole thing one word. breathe when you need to but just as an exercise to read it through a few times plowing through the whole thing. then add in that you are telling one of your friends about it. I might even suggest trying the copy on a real life relative or friend not selling them anything but actually just telling them the info to get the conversational feel in your bones. Think about if you really wanted to go to disney and (if you don’t know) it’s really expensive to go there so getting 30% off is a HUGE deal.moving forward look at the words that repeat. Stay Magic, Disney and remember the disney co is all about imagining and wonder
Great work Chad and I agree with Shmuel. As you keep working try to bring a little more of your personality into the reads. That ‘you’ energy will go along way.
Hey Sean. Great work! Loving the energy and choices.
some minor feedback, it seems like you have a splashy tongue specifically with your s and z sound. I notice it mostly with the Arby’s and almond breeze ads. I have trouble with this myself as my tongue gets a little lazy sometimes with s combinations especially when being ‘conversational’This definitely disappears or lessens when you have more energy (i know an oxymoron) when being conversational.
Great work!
