Very nice for your first efforts on the feedback forum! (Also, welcome to VO!)
For both reads I suggest that you make sure to smile while reading. I suggest an especially big smile for HookedOnPhonics since its related to something for children.
Technically, keep in mind that when you export an audio file as an MP3 you are getting a compressed version of the full digital recording. So you need to make sure to leave about 2 seconds of dead air at the very start and very end of the original audio file. Otherwise either the very start or the very end of the speaking will get cut off in the MP3. This is what happened at the end of AmericanAirlines.
MLB: I think you were trying too hard to sound dramatic at the very beginning, i.e. “The wait … is finally … over”, and it ended up sounding unnatural. Once you got into the rest of the script it seemed to flow much better. I find that smiling while I’m speaking helps me to sound more conversational and natural, so you might want to try this even when you’re trying to sound dramatic.
Capella: I liked this very much especially the very end, i.e. “don’t just learn, learn smarter” which sounded especially authentic. Good variety throughout the read. Nice job!
There’s a lot I like about this read such as the energy which is good. I can imagine hearing this as a radio commercial. I suggest, however, to keep working more in the direction of conversational since it sounds a bit like a 90’s announcer style voice over where you’re commanding the listener to do something.
Also, on a technical note, keep in mind that when you export a recording as an MP3 you’re getting a compressed version of the full digital recording. So you need to make sure that you leave some dead air at the very beginning and very end of the recording so that the vocal part of the recording doesn’t get cut off. The vocal got cut off at the very end of your audio file which is due to the fact that there was not sufficient dead air at the end of the recording.
I hope my initial feedback on Black_Diamond didn’t sound overly harsh. It’s just that when I heard the Aetna read I felt like I was hearing a very polished professional voice talent. I just didn’t feel that I was hearing the same natural quality when I listened to the initial black_diamond read. However, I think Black_diamond_2 is definitely moving in the right direction. It sounds more authentic, and you sound like believe what you’re saying. Awesome!
Amazingly the sample audio from the voice seeker for the “teacher_change” script was actually slower than how I read. So I was actually concerned that the voice seeker will think I am speaking too fast. I too don’t understand why they want it so slow.
My home studio was recently evaluated by a sound engineer and he gave it very high marks so I can’t blame the clicks and “S’ sounds on the equipment. I made them myself. So it’s good that you brought these issues to my attention.
Here are two more recordings I would love feedback on.
The audience for “teacher_change” is teachers. The voice seeker provided an audio example of the vocal style they are looking for which is a slow read with long pauses so this is what I was going for.
Aetna/US Healthcare: Your pace, naturalness, and diction are excellent! Very nice job.
Black Diamond: To be blunt, you sound like you’re reading. You also sound like you’re trying a bit too hard to sound excited which makes it sound not entirely believable. If you could figure out a way apply the same style you used for the Aetna/US Healthcare script to the Black Diamond script you would probably get the end result you want.
1) Please, no technical feedback.
2) I’m intentionally pausing between lines since the script is associated with a video which is moving between different kinds of images.
3) I’m aware that you can hear breathing between lines. I could have edited these out but chose not to.
4) Seafoam makes products for engines so I see the target audience as people who are into cars, trucks, boats, motorcycles, etc.
Nice job Ryan! Here’s my feedback: I liked the e-learning script better. Your pace is good and you annunciate well. It would be easy for someone to follow along as you’re speaking and understand what they need to do. Regarding disneys-ocean, I think your pace is too slow. Otherwise, these are good.
I can’t really come up with any constructive feedback regarding your vocal delivery since it’s a very good read. Some nitpicky feedback is that the background music is a bit loud and didn’t allow me to hear your voice as clearly as I would like.