Bill Anciaux
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Hi, Mary. I think this would be more conversational and connected if you didn’t emphasize certain words quite so much. The words you stress you really hit too hard, in my opinion. Try “lifting” the pitch slightly on those words and I think you’ll have a even better read. I’ve attached a clip of me trying to demonstrate this idea. Hope it helps. Bill A.
Hi, Kevin.
A better recording setup would help me hear your performance better and give more specific feedback on your technique. Something you are probably going to address eventually. I think your pacing could be a little faster. In a documentary piece, a slower pace does allow time for the visuals to tell their story but this still seemed a touch slow. At times this has a connected, conversational feeling but then the slow pace and careful articulation makes it feel slightly condescending, like you are speaking to a non-English speaking audience and trying especially hard to be understood. You have a pleasing voice and I’d enjoy listening to you deliver a documentary like this one. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
Excellent performance. Your pacing, tone, inflections, and articulation sound entirely appropriate for this script/genre. Well done. My one nitpick: for the line “The collagen’s unique shape, arrangement and spacing” you emphasize shape with your inflection and a pause after the word. I don’t see anything in the script that suggests this word is more important than the other two listed. If you aren’t already, I can see you booking work in this genre. Best, Bill A.
Your deep voice and serious tone give this script the gravitas it calls for, but you could be a touch warmer. After all, this character is in a business where recognition is always important. He has to show some people skills while appreciating the security of his personal info. with American Express. You need to be a bit more of a satisfied customer and a bit less the guy in charge of security. Good recording quality. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.
I think your read was “not too formal” and quite conversational. You sound relaxed and friendly. Only the “complimentary cake you have in front of you” seemed a bit disconnected. You could try gesturing as you say that line as though you’re pointing out the imaginary cake. Otherwise, good quality sound and a strong performance. Thanks for sharing.
Hello, Maci.
I like your distance to the mic and your volume level — feels like you are having a conversation with just me. Loved your delivery on “Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life.” If your breaths are louder than you’d like, reduce their volume with your editing software rather than remove them. When you delete breaths entirely it throws off the natural cadence of your delivery and makes it sound…unnatural. I think your voice is a great fit for scripts like this one.
Hey, Katelyn.
I especially liked your relaxed, friendly tone of your performance, which you settled into following the first phrase. The list (explore, deepen, get lost) was so good. The phrase “following the link in the description below” could have been just a bit more articulated, since it is the call to action. Overall, really engaging and warm. Great job.
