[BJ]

Hi – Autism – Friendly tone, good pacing and inflection – nicely done! Just a couple of thoughts – “To learn the signs…” and “Brought to you by…” seem a little less conversational than the rest of the copy. There’s a poppin’ “P” in the first mention of “parent.” Orange Theory – Like your friendly voice! Consider editing out the breath before “Do you want …” and the “c” in “confidence” is noisy, maybe you’re too close to the mic? Think about emphasizing “you” in “do you want more” “Orange Theory Fitness” and “we and you” in “we give you more. ” Volume is low in both reads. Looking forward to your next posts.

[BJ]

Hi – Nice warmth in your voice. I like your pacing and inflection. Just a couple of thoughts – consider trying this with a little more of a smile in your voice and playing up the conversational approach (picture who you’re taking with about A-1) – feel free to lean into that “delicious.” Looking forward to hearing more from you.

[BJ]

Hi Michele – This is a longggggggggggg overdue thank you for your kind and motivating words. You were spot on with your assessment regarding “performing.” In fact, I had my coaching session the next day and was reminded about sounding conversational. I’m a work in progress:)! I’m getting ready now for my next coaching session now.

[BJ]

Hi Forum Friends –

A big thank you to everyone participating in this Forum. I learn so much each time I listen to your Posts and read your feedback.

Would you weigh in on my reads? Are you hearing any difference between each of the Trader Joe’s/ TJ’s reads? How about the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America/AAFA reads? Any and all feedback is appreciated.

BJ

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[BJ]

Hi – I needed Crazy Uncle today. You made me laugh out loud! I really like how you transitioned from a scary laugh to a more light-hearted one. It reinforced that you were kidding around. You were kidding, right? 🙂 If not, I need a shot of Tennessee Whiskey! Nice tone and pacing. The last word in each of your first three sentences gets a bit lost. I’d like to hear a version of this where you give it a more gritty read.

[BJ]

Hi – Being from NJ, I definitely understand the talking fast thing:). I think the pace of your individual sentences is good. The only place you may want to slow down is on the sentence that includes “so this is an important decision,” just so you’re giving the listener/viewer a chance for it to sink in. Also, consider cutting down a bit on the pause between your first and second sentences. I really like the smile I hear in your voice when you say “puppy kindergarten and teaching your dog tricks.” Nice job.

[BJ]

Hi Michele – Your voice has such a lovely tone! Terrific job all around. Sign me up for the protein with oatmilk – and I don’t even like oatmilk. In Relax the Spa, once you hit “utilize” and from there on, you sped up a bit. I’d be curious to hear what it sounds like if you keep the same pace you started at the beginning. BJ

[BJ]

Hi Tim,

How exciting – working on your promo demo!

Alamo Travel Discounts
Nice pacing – you sound like you’re smiling:). Just two thoughts – Try going up in pitch in the beginning of the word California – so that this line sounds as smiley strong as the Florida and Hawaii lines. Also, 25% is important to emphasize, but consider making the “T” in twenty fit your overall read by softening it. Lastly, consider emphasizing the brand “Alamo.”

Ancient Mysteries
I hear more of an announcer style here. Perhaps, for a more mysterious tone, picturing that you’re talking with a child will get you there.

Looking forward to hearing more from you,

BJ

[BJ]

Hi Provocaleric,

I realize you posted several weeks ago, but since you took the time to offer me feedback, I thought the least I could do would be to return the favor.

You really bring this copy to life with your warm voice, pitch variety and delivery. If this is to be a video documentary narration, you’d likely want to slow down a bit for the visuals. Doing so will also allow you to further “play up” your open and close.

Looking forward to your next post,

BJ

[BJ]

Hi AJ –

Introverts
I like the relaxed, warmth of your tone which I do think helps to make it relatable. Try eliminating the pauses throughout (i.e. between “be” and “difficult”) to achieve your most natural read. Also, the word “social” gets a bit lost next to “situation.”

Design
Nice – still the warmth, but I’d say more authoritative than conversational (I don’t think that’s a bad thing:)) . If you have the time, try a version where at the end you emphasize the word “purpose” instead of “has.”

Looking forward to hearing more from you,

BJ

[Author]

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