Great read through! I think your voice would be great for a commercial like this. My note would be to work on really making the excitement in your voice authentic. You are so close. Just make sure to attach images in your head to the words you’re saying.
I really enjoy the tone of your voice. That being said, I think that it was a nice read, but be careful of those plosives. Especially whenever you make a ‘p’ sound. A pop screen on your mic will do wonders for that! Also, really work on enunciating every word like ‘New Jersey.’ Great work!!
Hi all! Just a couple commercial practice scripts. Your feedback is appreciated!
Thanks!
U of I Community Credit Union:
It’s hard not to be a fan of a credit card that gives you more
while saving you money every single day.
The Illini Visa Rewards card
Available only through U of I Community Credit Union
Glade:
No one says to wake up touch
or see, or taste, or hear the roses
They say to wake up and smell the roses
Because scent makes us feel like nothing else can
Inspired by the best feelings in the World
Glade
I have nothing to say about the Planet Earth one. I thought it was engaging and it sounded like you really enjoyed what you were talking about.
Sandals, on the other hand, didn’t sound like you enjoyed it as much. Make sure to really envision that nice beautiful beach. It is an adults only resort so don’t be afraid to sound a little more ‘flirty’ lol. That is what is missing. Otherwise, it is a great take!
Aylin
This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by aylinsings.
Hi. I like this material! I think you need to focus more on building the story aspect of it. You had the beginning, but started losing me in the middle. It was just a bit low energy and a little rehearsed. Try to make that part sound a bit more conversational and bright. At the end of the day, you want us to bank there. Great first take though!
Great take! I think you do a good job changing up the list. I do think that it lacks just bit on energy. It is a lot of repetition so just make sure your energy is there to keep us interested until the end.