Hello everyone!
Some of these scripts were really challenging for me so I’d love to get some peer feedback. Any advice on where to improve would be awesome. Thx in advance.
Hey! You sound great! I agree with Tim. I think that in the excedrin one (for example)… a little authenticity is lacking. I guess it’s kind of repeating the same thing. Try sounding genuinely relieved your headache is gone. Maybe even a little surprised and amazed in that last sentence!
But overall you sound great! It’s just to set you apart from the crowd..
Hi there! I really like your voice. You’re articulate and clear. Here are my thoughts.. the first few lines you could sound more conversational, and a little happier. Imagine your character doing different things for each version of you..
I think my overall message is to sound a little happier/excited about what you’re selling!
Sounds GREAT!
A couple thoughts. The first time you say buck n****d (are we not allowed to write that word? lol) I would say it somehow differently. Maybe add a big smile and stretch out the words a little. Something to make it sound a little cheeky (no pun intended). Something that will set it apart from the next line which states the company..
For legend airlines, I would play with pacing. Some words or even full sentences could be said a little faster or slower to add variety. And, I would add a slightly longer pause between the sentences.
maybe emphasize “rich” and “port” in rich port sauce.
But most importantly I think you need to notice how all of your sentences end on the exact same note. (I have such a hard time with this too). This particular script is very challenging in this respect. It’s hard to add variety when all of the sentences are almost the same! Try starting them on different notes, it might help you change it up. I think changing the speed would help with this too. Also, (Im sure you’ve heard this before) you don’t have to follow the punctuation! For example, “We’re not a furniture store. But we do provide….
OR We’re not a luxury hotel? But we do…
Hope my random thoughts help some!
A
What a soothing voice! I think the one thing I can say is to imagine you’re talking to someone you know. Like your mom, partner, sibling, friend, or grandmother, it doesn’t matter. When you’re reading it, imagine you’re saying those words to that person.. it will help you sound more authentic. The goal is to not sound like you’re reading it, but that you’re just telling me (the listener, something as if in conversation).
Hope that helps some,
A
Great improvement from the last ones I heard! You sound so much happier, great job! I guess my advice is to look at adding some variety within your sentences.
For Atlanta Bread, focus on the tag line. It’s the most important part! Think about what the message is.. It’s MORE than just bread.. add a little emotion into it, like you’re trying to not just tell me something, but make me feel what you’re saying. (if that makes any sense at all)
For Special-K, I really like your first couple of lines. Emphasis in the right places ( wasn’t our idea etc..) There seems to be a slight awkward pause when you say.. never tasted so good.
A-1. I like how you sounded a little more natural in this one. play with going up at the end of a sentence instead of down, maybe? Just to add a little more variety.
Overall, great job!
Hello everyone!
I’m posting 3 narration scripts I’ve been working on. Would love to get feedback on what you think. What am I doing wrong? Where can I improve etc.. Specifics are always a plus. Thanks in advance for listening,
Alexandra
So you’re working on sounding conversational?! Ergh.. the hardest part in my opinion! lol. One think I noticed in your reads (which I have issues with too) is ending all your sentences on the same note. Try going up on grill, for example. Also, stretch out “joys of turkey day” or emphasize joys.. The hard part of sounding natural is when they also tell you you have to sound happier at the same time! lol But I do find it helps to actually be smiling when I’m doing some of these scripts.
Pretty much the same comments on the second read. Try to sound a little more excited about what you’re selling!
But you’ve got a good voice so keep at it!