[acbattag]

Hi Wes – You have a great voice! I did feel like the beginning of the read sounded a big robotic and that you could lift up the energy a bit. Maybe even try doing it with a bit more of a smile on your face. The transitions between the sentences were a bit choppy as well, but I am thinking that may just be editing. The words are so beautiful so imagine you are really describing those to someone – like the way you said “sun-drenched beaches”. I think this is a really great script for you!
-Amber

[acbattag]

Thank you so much! I tried as a “secret” and it sounds way better!

[acbattag]

Thanks for the feedback Chris!

[acbattag]

Happy Friday! I’m considering this for my demo and would love your critic. Trying to determine which I like better… Appreciate any feedback you have!

“It’s happening more often, and it’s not surprising. People are seeking out new places, trying new things. And discovering the best part is often hidden in the the journey along the way. Find yourself , in the Mazda CX30.”

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[acbattag]

Jasjol71 –
WOW – YES on the meditation! I’m IN! I’d definitely listen to you and actually got relaxed listening to the demo. Honestly I don’t have a lot of great feedback for you on either except on the technical piece in editing – you sound a bit echoed in your room and can hear breaths along the way. Honestly, wish I could give you more – GREAT job!

Amber

[acbattag]

Hi Michelle!
I really like your energy as well – I could actually see this (and a person on camera saying this). Are you working on editing as well? I noticed in the intro you had some clicks and I can hear your breaths on occasion. If you aren’t editing yet, this is really great raw. When you say “there’s a world in here..” the inflection is really similar to the prior phrase. I would try changing that up a bit for some variety. I love the “great indoors” – really love how you did that part.
Have fun!
-Amber

[acbattag]

Thanks Toque! I appreciate the request. I was going for a calm, relaxing feel for this read. Talking to my friend… essentially. If it is sounding low energy though – that is not what I was going for! I’ll do a re-record with both yours and Chas’ notes! Appreciate it!

[acbattag]

haha! Thank you! Appreciate the notes. I too think the pause after the “new” was too long after listening to it a hundred times! Very appreciative of the feedback. I think I spent so much time on the beginning that I ignored the middle!

[acbattag]

This is a read I am considering for my demo. I did several takes and exhausted them because I can’t seem to get the beginning quite right, but maybe that is just me! Would love your feedback.

When you love your skin naturally, it shows. Boost your skin’s moisture for a glow the world can see. Introducing new, Burt’s Bees Truly Glowing Skin Care.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[acbattag]

Hi Brian –
I really like the 2nd read better. It hits the mark on down to earth, approachable and fun! Although your first hits those too, it doesn’t seem as legitimate as your 2nd. Love the pace of the read as well. Great job!
-Amber

[Author]

Replies