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Terra Ashe

Coconut oil.
– Lovely voice! Feels rushed, but instead of just thinking of slowing down I would just try to focus on who you are talking to specifically. Really tell them about how amazing you’ve realized coconut oil is.
Writers voice
– I think you have a lovely pace and flow with this one. I would maybe try being a little brighter at the top(nothing over the top just a little more friendly) and see what that does to the rest of it.