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You definitely have a knack for this style. To get nit-picky because it’s fun to have something to work on, I’d challenge you to vary your phrasing and play with combining phrases into a single breathe. It isn’t choppy but I think you have space to smooth out and elongate some sentences. Also your pronunciation of the word “hand” stuck out to me twice. I don’t have the vocabulary to tell you exactly why, maybe the vowel is brighter/more nasal than the the rest of the read? Perhaps worth paying attention to.
