[waninick]

Hi Paula..! Seems your pace still needs some work. in the first clip, I would explore adding just a little lift (not really a pause) after ‘Tiffany’, and again before “in this episode…” I think that would tamp down the rushed feel. Also, a short drop in pitch on the last part of ‘Tiffany’ will separate that word from the following phrase. The first name is a first and last name, but Tiffany is just the first name, and the following phrase sounds like it could be a last name, until you realize that ‘with a’ isn’t a name. If you slow things down a bit, feel the flow of the copy, let the inflections and pacing group the words into complete thoughts, it will sound more like a story being told in real time, and not something being read.

The second clip has a lot of the same things. At the end, there is a list that, as you present it, is two things she loves: “entertaining her potted plants”, and “relaxation.” I am going out on a limb here, and say that there are probably three things: “entertaining”, “her potted plants”, and “relaxation”. Find a way to use inflexation and pace to create some room for each one without chopping it up.

As for diction, I would say…pretty good…!! Nice and clean!! Not much in the way of glottal stops, as you flow easily into the words that begin with vowels. I think you have a great voice, and am looking forward to hearing your progress. Your environment is a bit echoy, so feel free to step up to the mic a bit, so you can reduce your gain. That way the room won’t be quite as noticeable until you have a chance to treat it.

All in all a nice job. Again, looking forward to hearing your progress.

–TimG