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Hey Alexcharles! I thought your tone sounded very conversational and less like you’re reading from a script. I aslo appreciated the technique in which you’re approaching the read (almost like a documentary narrator)

There were two things I noticed as I was listening:
1) the word “nitrogen” seemed very rushed (or it could’ve been clipped in the recording
2) The read sounded very even keel through the entire script. Try playing with giving a few phrases different emotions or slightly changing the pace based on a certain phrase