[jliebert]

Thank you Bill! I love blunt and honest feedback. It will help me improve. I was trying for a more excited tone in the Black Diamond script, and perhaps it came across as too unnatural, and I absolutely don’t want to sound as if I’m reading. I’m going to try it again, toned down a bit. If you (or anyone) has any commentary on the naturalness and flow of this take as compared to the original, i’d appreciate that.

The original version is “Take 1” and the new one is “Take 2”.

Thanks Bill and everyone,
Jeff

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