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Fun read on this. I think you heat your stride on “So, what’s in your custom bowl?” That’s when I hear you being more playful with it. It might help to add that same attitude to the beginning of the VO. The middle sounds great. At the end, you have nice energy on “Eat, Energize” but I think you could use a touch more energy. When I wrote those notes, I had not heard version 2 of Freshii. I think that version improved on the stuff I mentioned above – nice job!
Denali’s is an unusual word and I think you need to hit it a little harder and slow it down a touch to make sure people hear it clearly. Same goes for “view moose up close” and “marvel at Glacier Bay.” These are the candies in the candy store, so I think you can sell them a bit more. I like the way you showcase Holland America and I start to feel the glamour of the trip as you talk about the view from the rail cars. There are spots where I think your read is right on – hitting just the right casual tone, and then other spots where you get more formal. Very nice ending on: The difference is Holland America.
If you have a moment, I would much appreciate your feedback on my VO – Cosmos. Uploaded today, 11-11-22, a little after 9pm Eastern. Thank you!