As poetry/storytelling is subjective, everyone will have their own opinion. Your voice is great and IMO, I loved what you brought to this.Nice! Technically, all I noticed was the word “weak” in the beginning was lost and it dropped off.
Edge Studio has been making spoken word fabulous, for over 30 years! It’s done via voice coaching and voice over recording, in 50+ languages. We also donate to numerous nonprofits and politicians who we support.