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#80473
michaelflemingvoice
Participant

What up, my dude. Listening to both, here are my recommendations. Take em or leave em 🙂

Sandals: Delivery is too slow. Pick up the pace a bit, and I think you’ll hit the sweet spot with the relaxed feel you’re trying to convey. The line “Because everything else is included” was your best moment on this one. I heard the wry smile coming through. Try to do that throughout.

Harvey Home Theatre: A few good moments on this one. I feel you might be trying too hard to be cool when you end your sentences on this one. Again, speed of delivery. Start is a little slow and then there’s some back and forth. “…he can even operate his…” is the meter and tone you want throughout. If you can match that everywhere, I think we’ve got a winner.

In general, relax. Be aware of how each sentence is ending the same and try to change it up a bit. When I started out, I sounded like I was trying too hard to act. I’m still having to overcome that at times, but the faster you can get your mind around imagining talking to a person and keeping their attention, the better this will click.

Keep up the good work!